When real things happen to imaginary people

io9 has an entry about the Sweethearts Twilight candy. (clicky-link!)

And yes, because my friends DO think that way, I already have two boxes of these. haate, I still haven't decided if I should thump you for getting them for me. On the one hand, bwah-ha-ha! Conversation hearts that say "Bite Me"? Comedy GOLD, folks. Comedy gold. On the other hand, ohgod, Twilight merchandise*.

Oh, and I have I mentioned I'm going on a road trip to Forks this weekend, because I apparently find it difficult to refuse domestinatrix anything? There will be updates from the road, oh yes. Maybe I should take along a box of sparklehearts as a themed snack option ...





*Okay, fine, I not only purchased a sample pack of the Aromaleigh Twilight sparkle powders, but I ended up buying a full-size jar of "Lustre" (the one with the lowest amount of sparkle). But my fondness for sparkly makeup is well-known, and pre-dates the whole sparkly vampire craze, dammit!

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Where do I fall on the issue? That I'm hoping the Twilight movie plays at one of the local theatres that offers food and drink, as that will save me the effort of having to hide a flask in my purse. Oh, and that I am not going to try and see the spaaaaaaarkly vampire movie on the opening weekend, because I don't want to be deafened by the shrieking fangirls.

http://www.avclub.com/content/node/88015

The best line (IMO): "It's like the cover of Dracula BOP! magazine."

And yes, I probably would read Dracula BOP! magazine if it existed. It would be hysterical! Or it would possibly give me a headache, and I would have to go collapse on the couch, re-read Anno Dracula, and drink absinthe, all while muttering about "... kids today, no sense of tradition ..."

( Reviews first! )

And speaking of that "the fall trend is for dark lips!" silliness ... if you want to spend $28 + shipping, you could go pre-order that YSL black lipgloss (clicky-link!). Which is also limited edition, and has sell-text that describes it as "transparent yet intense". Ooooo-kaaaaay.

Also jumping on this trend (but avoiding all mention of goth) is Lancome, with their black lipgloss + red lipstick set (clicky-link!) that apparently is inspired by "the sole of a Christian Louboutin shoe and not Bauhaus or Siouxsie." Again, ooooo-kaaaay.

(A side note: when minim_calibre sent me the link to the Blogdorf Goodman post about the Lancome set, I stared at the photo of the lips that were supposedly wearing the color duo, and then forwarded it to stroppy_baggage, asking for a Photoshop verdict. I don't care what sort of miracle cosmetic product they're touting, there is no way that someone could get their lipstick & gloss to look like that photo in real life. stroppy_baggage's comment was that yes, Photoshoppery was apparent, and the teeth looked like holes punched in the photo.)

I'll admit, I had "Ooooh shiny shiny pretty!" reactions to both the YSL and the Lancome products, but if I really need black lipgloss (which I probably don't), I'll buy it from NYX Cosmetics or Wet&Wild, for under $5. Probably while muttering about trendy fashion-victim types who want to wear black lip color or nail polish, but not only think that such things aren't goth, but will come up with wacky reasons and justifications for their delusion. Whatever, it just means that those of us who ARE goths can stock up on dark lipstick and nail polish this season. Right? Right.

So I guess today is the day for quotes that make me growl and clutch my head in my hands. From an article about the Twilight series and the release of the 4th book, a quote from the author:

She didn't even know much about vampires when she started. "My vampires are very light. Since I started writing, I've learned more about how other vampires roll, so to speak, and it's a very sensual thing, the blood-drinking, the sex and violence. Mine is more about attraction."

I think my plans for the weekend (writing, writing, more writing, and some household chores) now need to include re-reading Dracula and re-watching Near Dark*. You know, two stories that are about predatory and bloodthirsty vampires, not spaaaaaarkly twoo wuv "very light" vampires.







*Mind you, I will stop the DVD before it gets to the end of the movie, because the ending of Near Dark makes me very cranky.

::points at icon, giggles::

::looks over at smu, apologizes::

I was completely unaware that there's this whole meta-fandom thing going on with the Twilight series. Well, maybe not quite meta-fandom, but anti-fandom with a dose of meta. People who have been very active in other fandoms, banding together over snarking about Twilight, but not trolling the actual earnest fans of the series who aren't on the "Good god, you have to read this! It's so amazingly ... crap! Your head will explode! It's funny!" bandwagon.

Which leads to things like the icon on this post. If you want more info, head on over to this post in cleolinda's LJ, and marvel at the REALLY BAD Entertainment Weekly cover. Hoo-boy.

Did you people know that various bookstores are going to be holding Twilight PROMS to celebrate the release of the 4th book? The U-Village B&N is one of them. minim_calibre thinks I should show up in my usual clothes, but with a dusting of shimmery powder on all my exposed skin, and wearing my fangs. I, while curious to see the spectacle and madhouse that this event might be, am not going to be doing that. It edges a bit too close to making fun of the fans of the series, and I try not to mock anyone for whatever their interests are. I may shake my head sadly and wish they had latched on to other things to be obsessive about, but I don't want to do anything that would ruin their fun.

But oh god. Sparkly vampire prom. It might look a bit like this photo, now that I stop to think about it. Which, btw, neatly illustrates why I don't have a leg to stand on about mocking people for their dorky interests. I too have gone to a vampire prom. We just weren't spaaaaaarkly.