When real things happen to imaginary people

I did indeed spend yesterday reading Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis. It was entertaining, in a mostly WTF Anne you've lost your marbles sort of way. It was NOT as fun as Prince Lestat was, because there was less focus on the vampires, and more philosophical monologues from space aliens. Excuse me, Replimoids.

If you've read a lot of Anne Rice books, you are aware of how every few books or so, she goes on a philosophical binge, and wants her characters to expound on Good and Evil, the Value of Suffering, and so on. Usually in the guise of some ancient being (spirit, creature, millennia-old newly-wakened vampire) telling Their Life Story. I will be honest, this is not what I read Anne Rice books for. I read them for morally-ambiguous vampires struggling with their nature, and for bombastic and lurid descriptions of shimmering preternatural flesh swathed in velvet and lace. Because one thing Anne Rice excels at is luscious purple prose, and I wish she'd stick to it. Or at least have more of it and maybe cut down on rhapsodizing about what a utopia Atlantaya was. More gothic excess, less philosophy and New Age space aliens, that's what I want.

( Things I did like. Spoilerriffic, obvs. )

I don't think I'll be rereading PLatRoA anytime soon, whereas I do reread Prince Lestat. And neither of these books come anywhere NEAR supplanting Interview with the Vampire or The Vampire Lestat in my heart.

If you want to read my liveblogging descent into madness from yesterday, it's all over on my Tumblr, tagged with THREAT LEVEL: PRINCE LESTAT

Penny Dreadful S3 Ep.7 "Ebb Tide"

FUCK YES.

( Spoilery commentary )

I am now willing to pay the premium for pre-washed, sliced, packaged veggies, because that means there are fewer barriers to my eating them when my blood sugar gets wonky. At least the veggies are a healthy choice?

Here, have a selfie:



Also, I remade my woody nightshade locket. Now with added moonstone and velvet ribbon!



And finally, to show just how crazy I am:



Yes, I'm embroidering blood spatter onto the lace of a vintage poet blouse. The blame can be laid at the feet of the Vampire Chronicles fandom.

That ... that was a whole lot of meh.

( Semi-rantycakes under the cut )

Now I need to go read vampire stories with consistent character development and a good plot. Yes, this means I'm going to be rereading Bandpires. BECAUSE I CAN.

Valancourt Books has reprinted one of my favorite vampire novels of all time, The Delicate Dependency by Michael Talbot. And they asked ME to write the foreword!

Co-worker to me: So you're going to have to be like mortal enemies with [other co-worker] now.

Me: What?

Co-worker: He was bit by a dog, so he's going to become a werewolf, right? Don't your kind hate werewolves?

Me, straight-faced: Nooooo, vampires don't HATE werewolves, we just think they're kind of silly.

The take-away from this is that my co-workers apparently support me becoming the Vampire Witch Queen of the universe. Good to know.

Just another day at the office, y'know?

I didn't have to growl at anyone today, as it turns out. But my teammates were delighted with my Very Fierce Vampire appearance, and my boss (who's a huge horror movie geek) asked me about the mechanics of getting custom fang caps made.

Shallow Fashion Details:

- Black rayon sundress from Dharma Trading Co. (with trim added by me).
- Black lace coat dress made for me long ago by Laura of the Pale Court. I think of her every time I wear it.
- Black lace footless stockings, cannibalized from a pair of lace tights from Target, IIRC.
- Stripy peep-toe flats from eBay.
- Straw top hat! (Which I stained black with art markers and sharpies, then covered in a layer of black tulle under black lace. Mmmm, summer-weight top hat.)
- Ankh rosary, with my sterling silver replica of the ankh from The Hunger, fang caps made by Victor, and black lipstick from the Portland Black Lipstick Co. Hi, I own my clichés, stamp my GothCard now. ;-)

So, everyone knows that my not-really joking plan is to become vampire witch queen of the universe. My childhood self picked awesome goals, what can I say?

Also, I'm a goth. I don't like the sun.

Also also, thanks to the Lyme disease and gift-with-purchase co-infections, I'm on a ridiculous amount of antibiotics and other meds. Some of which can make a person more sensitive to heat and sunlight.

You see where this is going, don't you?

We went to the farmers' market today. It was maybe 74 degrees (my apologies to everyone I know who is dealing with the heatwave that's happening everywhere else). I was sensibly dressed in lightweight layers, my summer-weight top hat (black-stained straw covered with black lace), sunblock, huge sunglasses, and carrying a parasol. Unfortunately, because the market was PACKED, I couldn't keep my parasol up. I spent maybe, maybe a total of 10 minutes in direct sunlight, which caused me to get a headache, feel really light-headed and woozy, and slightly nauseated.

DAMN. That's ... kinda ridiculous.

The Stroppy One called me "His special little vampiric snowflake". To which I ask: if I'm going to have these sorts of quintessential vampire reactions to sunlight, WHEN ARE MY FANGS GROWING IN? I want to know.

We only saw about a dozen trick-or-treaters, but there was a group of three girls that made my night. I answered the door to two witches and a zombie girls, who all chorused "Trick or Treat!"

Then one of the witches looked at me and said, "Hey, you looked like that last year."

I smiled widely. "I look like this every day."

"Every day?!" replied the zombie girl.

"Yep, every day," I assured her, dropping candy into their pumpkins, watching the thought of OMG the neighbor lady is REALLY A VAMPIRE cross their faces.

They nervously said "Cool!", wished me a happy Halloween, and scampered down the stairs into the night.