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I have two, actually. The first is completely obvious to anyone who even vaguely knows me: The Nightmare Before Christmas.

The second? It's not even a holiday movie. But when I was ten, my Mom was in the hospital undergoing chemotherapy. The night that Dad and I decorated the tree, I got to stay up WAY past my bedtime. We had the TV on for company, and the late-night movie was Arsenic and Old Lace. I adored it. I wanted to grow up to be one of the aunts. And so, forever more, that is a Holiday Movie for me.
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Buy a new house. Preferably some sort of enormous place so certain friends could move in, and I could finally have that gothy "planned community" that I've always longed for.
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Lessee, there's stress. But mostly, what keeps me up at night is my chronic insomnia. I've been an insomniac for as long as I can remember. And yes, I've tried almost every insomnia remedy known, but the only thing that really works is Ambien. My doctor has decided that it's a lesser evil than chronic sleep deprivation. (Hey, did you know that the world being kinda wiggly and soft-focus edges ISN'T NORMAL? Once I started getting regular sleep, that went away! Craziness, I know.)
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Oh please. It would be Gothic Charm School, of course.

HOWEVER - I know a bit about the behind-the-scenes workings of "reality" shows. As much fun as it is to daydream about a Gothic Charm School show where I swoop in and help gothy types, the headaches, heartaches, and scripted "drama" that the genre demands means I will stay far, FAR away from such things.

(Yes, scripted. You didn't really think that reality shows weren't scripted and edited for maximum drama, did you?)
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Hoo-boy. I feel I must mention that when I was 10, my mom went into the hospital with leukemia. As it turned out, the aggressive chemotherapy gave her 32 additional years. So, what would I tell my 10-year-old self?

- Things are going to be okay.

- Yes, helping out and trying to make everyone else feel happy and safe is good. Learn to take care of yourself, too.

- That one year you decide not to do any of your math homework? Don't do that.

- No, really. Things are going to be okay. There will be some really awful times, but it works out.
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Ahahaha. I love the horror genre; you people know that, right? Some of the movies that I find comforting in times of emotional distress include things like 30 Days of Night, Jennifer's Body and Zombieland. But. I am kind of a big wimp about suspenseful horror. Gore, monsters? Great, bring it on! Creepy suspense? I will cower behind [livejournal.com profile] clovisdvlbunny while watching, and not sleep because of being freaked out.

So, I have two answers for this question.

Scariest horror movie #1: Poltergeist. I have not seen this movie since ... the late 80s. This movie terrified me so much when I first saw it that I didn't sleep for three days. (Of course, that may have had something to do with when, on the way home after seeing it, Dad asked me what I thought the scariest part was. I answered "The clown doll,", because even then I Did. Not. Like. Clowns. My Mom replied, "But you used to have a doll just like that! I think it's in the attic ..." Thanks, Mom. No sleep for me!) I also had an unreasoning fear of TVs tuned to static for a very long time, but I'm (mostly) over that now.

There is a part of me that wonders if the scares of Poltergeist still hold up. But I'm not willing to watch it again to find out.

Scariest horror movie #2: The Blair Witch Project. Yes, really. No, I never believed it was a "true story". But the movie was a very clever play on the types of ghost stories I constantly read when I was a child, and the mounting tension of weird things happening and no one knowing what was happening? Yeah, that hit all the right (wrong?) terror buttons in my hindbrain. Plus the final scenes in the movie included a bit of imagery that was, I kid you not, straight out of a recurring nightmare I have had for decades. (The bloody handprints on the walls of the house. When the camera first panned across them, I think I tried to whimper and curl into a fetal position. I don't really remember.)

We saw The Blair Witch Project right after we had moved into the house, and about a week before the Stroppy One went out of town to go to Gen-Con. So there's me, in a heightened state of freak out, by myself in a newish house, not yet used to the creaks it made. One day, when I was about to go into the mostly-finished basement to feed the cats, I called my parents and made them talk to me, in the hopes that I would be less creeped out.

But I still love horror movies. Oooh, maybe I'll watch 30 Days of Night again tonight.
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I rarely do karaoke. (Partially because I had almost 15 years of choral experience in my past, and I frequently despair over how much my voice has degenerated. Go ahead, roll your eyes at me, I do it too.)

Anyway, karaoke, play Rock Band (which I should do more often, because it's silly fun): THE song I sing is "White Rabbit". It was the song I used to use as an audition piece in college when I was trying out for various bands.


In other news: here, watch this video. [livejournal.com profile] skarrin pointed me at it, and it is brilliant. Cookie Monster singing Tom Waits' "God's Away On Business".

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Ahahahahahaha. Um.

Yeah, my answer to these sorts of questions USED to be no, because everything that has happened to me has made me who I am, and I'm pretty happy with how things have turned out.

However. My views have undergone a bit of a change, and if I could go change an event in my life (and not have any paradox-inducing repercussions or horrible things happen as a result), then my choices are:

1. Mom's death. Yeah, I'm trying to learn not to dwell on all the what ifs about it, but some days are harder than others, y'know?

2. A few REALLY DUMB, BAD choices I made a few years ago, when I was veering toward losing my mind. Things are fine now (better than fine, in many ways), but when my stress nightmares replay bits of that time, I want to shake some sense into my past self very, very hard.
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::reads question::

::re-reads question, giggles rather a lot::

Do I even need to write an answer out to this? A vampire, of course. And while my favorite quote from Those Who Hunt The Night (""...one of those women who sees immortality in terms of an unlimited wardrobe.") is slightly applicable, that's not the only reason. Nor is unlimited reading time, tho' that would be a nice perk, too.

Blah blah blah undead, possibly soulless, feeds off people, blah blah blah. Whatever. If I was a vampire, do you think I'd care? No, I'd be too busy having fun with my new-found existence, and deciding who I was going to turn.

Vampire hunters, bah. Borrr-rrring.
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Oh, I love this game!

Books I Reread A Lot, By Cupcake Goth, Age 42

- Dracula. Go on, look surprised.

- Something Wicked This Way Comes. One of foundations of my universe.

- The Vampire Lestat. Classic bombast, and I still find Lestat to be a charming devil.

- Anno Dracula. Still one of the best damn vampire books out there.

- Soulless. So much fun!

- Vampire Kisses: The Coffin Club. From my favorite spooky-sweet series, the installment set at a gothy club. With vampires.

I suppose Winnie The Pooh should go on that list, but it's not one I reread. It's read to me, in times of great emotional stress.
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Wait, didn't we have a similar question recently? Anyway, people who know me know my answer to this.

That is the Gunderson clan. See the bear in the middle? That would be Gunderson (with his siblings Augustuson and Minderson), who is my oldest bear. He arrived in my life the Christmas I was 9, and he went with me everywhere. He now (mostly) hangs out in the armchair lair of bears, with ....

The Murphy clan! (I don't have a recent photo showing the other two members, must fix that.) Murphybear is in the middle (with Thirby on the right and Dearby on the left), and he became part of the family on Christmas day when I was 11.

And then, of course:

[livejournal.com profile] clovisdvlbunny. Er, holding the head of Sauron in this picture. Clovis turned 21 this year. Clovis was the ring bearer for mine & the Stroppy One's wedding. Clovis sleeps above my head every night. Clovis has yet to give me bad advice (and believe me, he is not shy about giving me advice.)

I am the perfect target audience for the Toy Story movies, and "Jessie's Song" turns me into a sobbing wreck every time.

EDIT: Here, a story that explains my relationship to my fuzzy companions. Long ago, I was dating a not-very-good guy. Misogynistic, emotionally abusive at times, controlling, tried to isolate me from my friends, the works. One of the main things that finally made me realize that I needed to break up with him? When he informed me that when we moved in together, I was going to "get rid of the stupid stuffed animals".

Whereas the Stroppy One, when we were planning the wedding, said "I assume Clovis is our ring bearer?"
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Hmmm. Considering how much of an emotional wallop music packs for me, you would think that I would have an answer to this. But long ago I started very actively working on reclaiming songs that reminded me of previous relationships, so that I could listen to them again. There are songs that cause a wince of rueful recognition (Dear Fall Out Boy, thank you for writing "Hum Hallelujah"), but I still like and listen to those songs..


In other news, I am vaguely considering doing that "30 songs in 30 days" meme I've seen going around, emotional landmines be damned. Is that something you folks would like to see here?
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I think people who are regular readers of my burblings know my answers.

Firstly, I would love to see a remake of Dracula. A remake that is more faithful to the novel. No tacked on love story (even tho' I must shamefully admit that I do like that in the Langella and Coppola versions), no changing characters around, and make Dracula menacing, thanks. Make the scene where he forces Mina to drink his blood to be chilling, because that's how it should be.

The other movie I would LOVE to see remade? Mary Poppins. Remember a few years ago when the "re-imagined" trailer for Scary Mary went around? Mary Poppins treated as very strange and creepy? YES, I WANT THAT. I want something closer to the books, where Mary Poppins is a force for ... something. Not necessarily for good or happy families, but for chaos. Weird things keep happening around her, and when Jane and Michael ask questions, Mary Poppins shuts them down. "How dare you suggest I would take part in such things? What are you talking about?" Mary Poppins isn't a shiny happy nice nanny, and I want a movie that reflects that.
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I suspect my true inner self looks like a more idealized cartoon/anime version of me. Yes, I'm completely serious.

What would she tell me? Probably to stop worrying about things I can't fix, and that I shouldn't pay attention to the various voices of doubt and fear that eat away at me from time to time. She'd also probably tell me to pay more attention to [livejournal.com profile] clovisdvlbunny.


I find myself browsing for military or Adam Ant -style jackets AGAIN. I am well aware that I don't need any, but I love looking at them. I'm sure part of it is that the next Pirates of the Caribbean movie comes out SOON, and I love pirate-y clothes.

Also, I need to stop paying attention to the insidious whispers of the Body Image Monsters, and start wearing some of the ivory-with-black-accents outfits I've put together. Thanks to thrifting and going through my to be altered stash, I have three or four different outfits, and I want to show them off. But when the time comes to get dressed for something, I second (and third and fourth)-guess myself out of them. Hmmph.


Twitter is indeed the latest incarnation of it's a small world - the Twitter account for the Claire's Accessories brand thanked me for mentioning them in the Gothic Charm School prom post. Wacky.
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It didn't really have a name, because when you're a kid, it's just playing. Maybe other people called it "Let's Pretend" or "She's so ... creative ...?", but to me, it was just what I did. It was practice at plotting and ordering my army of stuffed animals around, because I fully intended to be the vampire witch queen of the universe when I grew up.

I still intend to do that, actually. [livejournal.com profile] clovisdvlbunny is all for this plan.
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Hello, have you people MET me? Gunderson Bear is sitting in the Armchair Lair at this very moment, with Murphy Bear. (Both Gunderson and Murphy now have siblings, because the local thrift stores have been randomly manifesting the proper sort of vintage GUND bears for a couple of years.)

Also, look at the icon on this entry. That is [livejournal.com profile] clovisdvlbunny. Clovis is going to rule the universe one day, so sign up to be a minion now, just to be safe. Clovis was the ringbearer at mine & the Stroppy One's wedding. Clovis is one of my sanity checks.

(Yes, I take advice from a stuffed bunny with fangs. He has never steered me wrong.)

::wanders off muttering "Did I have a favorite toy as a CHILD? You mean people stop?!::
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Ha! Do I re-watch or re-read things? Is this a trick question?

Movies I will watch over and over and over (to the point of the Stroppy One asking that I not watch them when he's around, because while *I* haven't tired of them, *HE* has): Beetlejuice. The Nightmare Before Christmas. The Addams Family & Addams Family Values. Lost Boys. Moulin Rouge. Sweeney Todd. Coppola's version of Dracula. The Langella version of Dracula. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies. Near Dark. Thirty Days of Night. Monsters, Inc. Mirrormask.

Look, I refer to them as comfort movies for a REASON. They make me happy. Even if I've seen them a gazillion times. And no, I haven't reached any sort of limit for repeats.

The same goes for books. I re-read Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury annually. (Every October, as is right and proper.) I've re-read [livejournal.com profile] gailcarriger's Parasol Protectorate novels about 4 times now. I re-read Dracula (or parts of it) maybe twice a year. Other things I re-read fairly often include the complete run of The Sandman, The Vampire Lestat, The Witching Hour, Tanith Lee's Blood Opera trilogy, and assorted Discworld books. Plus I get a whim every now and then to re-visit other things I've read before. Sometimes I'm tired (or cranky, or in need of soothing), and don't want to spend the energy and effort to try a new book that I may not like, I want the reading equivalent of visiting with a friend. Hence re-reading.

Yes, I know this is not how other people interact with books and movies. But it works for me.
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I've previously ranted about my relationship to the Insomnia Fairy. At length. I am a life-long insomniac; I have vivid memories of being six or seven and being awake all night; I quietly played with my stuffed animals and told myself stories.

Now, when I can't sleep, I ... fret. Glare at the ceiling while being VERY VERY angry that I'm not able to fall asleep. I also tell myself stories, listen to the Stroppy One breathe while he's sleeping, and sometimes get up and tootle around the internets. (Which is occasionally a not-very clever plan, and leads to impulse purchases. Whoops?)

Tho' recently, the not-sleeping has not been happening as often, because my amazing doctor finally decided that me taking maintenance meds to help me sleep was FAR better than being chronically sleep-deprived. It turns out that the wavery, flickery things at the edge of my vision? Not something that everyone had, and not really supposed to be there! I had no idea! This getting regular sleep thing is kinda nifty.
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Honestly? A combination of writer/fashion designer/wealthy eccentric. I like to think that I'm actually working toward living that dream.

... which reminds me, tonight I need to do some writing. In addition to packing stuff to mail off to people.


In other news, I am fascinated with the offerings from Etsy seller BloodMilk. (clicky-link!) I especially covet the lydia sparrow claw ring (clicky-link!) (not that I have a finger that doesn't already have a ring on it, but still), and the nevermore claw ritual necklace (clicky-link!). I really, REALLY covet the nevermore claw. Hoo-boy.
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Oh, I HAD to answer this one.

If money was no object*? Our house would look like Tim Burton had re-designed the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. With pink accents. Stripes! Wacky, slightly off-kilter and creepy Victorian knick-knacks and furniture! Secret passages! A ballroom! Fainting couches! A library!

*Okay, if money were no object and I successfully hypnotized the Stroppy One. His design sense is not quite as ... whimsical as mine.


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