When real things happen to imaginary people

Soooooo, it's been a little over a month on this wacky ketogenic diet. I'm not counting calories (because that way lies madness for me), but I am staying around 30g of carbohydrates a day. So, no bread, no pasta, no starches, and very little fruit. But lots of leafy greens, a fair amount of protein, and fat. On this sort of eating plan, at least 70% of my food needs to be fat.

Things I've noticed:

- Holy bats, my daily pain and inflammation levels are reduced an amazing amount.
- I have more energy.
- I have less brain fog.
- Cutting out sugar was not as hard as I feared, mostly because after a ton of reading, I found a sugar substitute I like (Swerve).
- Aaaaaand I've lost something like 13 lbs. That's not why I'm doing this, but it's a side effect I'm in favor of.

Interestingly, I don't really have any cravings for starchy food. Sure, I occasionally have a mild longing for mac&cheese, because that was my One True Food, but it's not a strong enough craving that I have to have it OMG. I know I'm going to fall off the wagon at Disneyland for at least one day, because I'm going to a fancy tea party with Meg, and there is no way to avoid sugar at something like that. But I'm going to be very selective about which sugary treats I DO eat.

The only downside? Holy hell, I kinda loathe all of the food bloggers who have ketogenic recipes. I don't want stories about how you're converting everyone to this type of eating! I don't care about your leisurely trips to the farmer's market! I don't want to read your smug, sanctimonious food sermons! Just give me the recipe for keto popovers, so I can try it and see if it works for me!

• I know people who are amazing cooks.


• Sweetbreads are tasty. As are homemade pretzels.


• Batter-dipped, deep-fried pickles or olives are addictive.


• Jagermeister is merely the sweeter, less-aggressive form of Fernet. I like Fernet better.


• If you appeal to my vanity, I am willing to hand out scary Jello shots.


• People who really know better will have a Jello shot if I look expectantly at them while holding the tray of said Jello shots.

Also, my first attempt at the bloodspatter zombie manicure was a big hit:

My ability to write came skulking back around 8:00 last night, so I managed about 2K words on the story (almost halfway to the total word count), sent that off to my sanity check people, had a minor hissy fit, and then spent more time dinking around the interwebs. Let me tell you, when you are seeking distraction, Polyvore is both very good and very bad. Good in that it is full of pretty things and fun projects, bad in that IT WILL EAT YOUR BRAIN AND SENSE OF TIME PASSING.

Thank you to everyone who posted consoling or cheering comments to me yesterday when I was feeling a bit meh and whiny. They did make me feel better, and I appreciate that very much.

So, comfort food and books. When I am stressed or in need of emotional soothing, I crave (in addition to cupcakes, that is) two particular foods. Macaroni and cheese, preferably from Beechers, which is a fantastic creamery/cheese-maker here in Seattle. I have never, never had better mac & cheese. Why yes, our dinner last night included it, how clever of you to have suspected that.

My other comfort food is from a tiny family-owned Mexican place in our neighborhood. The food is very tasty, the chips and salsa and guacamole are addictive, and they have photos of their burrito grande being compared in size to a newborn infant. Really, what's not to love?

Comfort reading. Now, I am a fast reader. A really fast reader. I can finish an average novel in an evening, so I re-read books pretty frequently anyway. But again, in times of stress or when I am feeling not quite the thing, I will ignore whatever stack of enticing new books I have and head straight for ... oh, things like Personal Darkness by Tanith Lee. Anno Dracula by Kim Newman. Gothique by Kyle Marafin. And my new comfort read, which hasn't even been released yet (but I managed to get an advance copy): Souless (The Parasol Protectorate by Gail Carriger. (clicky-link!) Those of you that are perceptive and/or familiar with my tastes (which is all of you, now that I think about it) have noticed that all of my comfort reads are about vampires. Stamp my cliché card now, please. Really, the only comfort read of mine that isn't about vampires is Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, and I only allow myself to re-read that every October. Which is only a month away, hurrah!

Gingerbread bats, pre-oven:



Gingerbread bats, post-oven:



Rose marshmallow fluff:



After the marshmallow fluff sets enough, I need to cut it into cube-ish shapes and dredge it in a powdered sugar/corn starch mix.

For those that are interested, the recipe for Perkygoth Gingerbread is here: http://cupcake-goth.livejournal.com/187175.html#cutid1

I just finished a grilled cheese sandwich made with aged cheddar, and a big bowl of locally-foraged salad greens topped with some olive oil and champagne vinaigrette. As I was preparing this, I thought "domestinatrix would be proud of me."

Okay, not as proud of me as she would be as if, say, I started making jam, or bread from scratch. But those are Her Things, and I am quite happy to trade sewing for them.


mmmmm, grilled cheese sammich.

I'm still slowly (oh so slowly!) losing weight after joining Weight Watchers almost 2 years ago. I know why I'm not losing weight any faster: I'm not exercising as much as I could be, and there are weeks when I'm a bit ... neglectful about keeping track of my food choices. But, I AM still losing weight (with the occasional plateau), and am about 13 pounds away from my goal weight. Do I think I'll hit my goal weight by my 2 year WW anniversary? Eh, no. And strangely enough, I'm fine with that. I'll get there eventually.

As for food cravings: for the past month or two, I have had insane cravings for cake-y type things such as muffins or cupcakes. If someone offered me a chocolate chip muffin-type thing right now, I would squeak and wave my hands in glee. (And then probably eat half of it and save the other half for tomorrow, but still.) I have no idea why my body has decided that sweet bread-y things are the Best Food Ever, and trying to ignore these cravings is getting harder. Anyone have any advice?