• I know people who are amazing cooks.

  • Sweetbreads are tasty. As are homemade pretzels.

  • Batter-dipped, deep-fried pickles or olives are addictive.

  • Jagermeister is merely the sweeter, less-aggressive form of Fernet. I like Fernet better.

  • If you appeal to my vanity, I am willing to hand out scary Jello shots.

  • People who really know better will have a Jello shot if I look expectantly at them while holding the tray of said Jello shots.



Also, my first attempt at the bloodspatter zombie manicure was a big hit:

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