More nightmares last night, including a really emotionally awful one right before the alarm went off. Did you know that if you have a sobbing, hysterical meltdown in a dream, you get the same emotional hangover as if you'd had one in real life? Fun times, fun times. I felt so off-kilter when I got up that I had to have Clovis Devilbunny sit at my desk all day, and my musical selection promptly got derailed to the bandom playlist. I am seriously considering spending this evening rereading my current favorite multi-part bandom fic, which is ... look, it is seriously creepy, unsettling, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they are okay with Really Dark Fic, full of Things Not To Be Condoned In Real Life. I think it's all sorts of cracked-out fun, but I am also a lifelong fan of unsettling horror fiction, so I admit my tastes are not for everyone. But, yeah. I think I am going to reread cultverse tonight.

(Oh man, I think I need to reread Bandpires again soon, too, because that is one of my absolute favorites, and I find it very soothing in times of stress.)

Speaking of things to read, while link-hopping around today, I found out someone wrote some sort of fic for Kim Newman's Anno Dracula series, but it's apparently vanished from the interwebs. I'm cranky about this, because the idea of Tim Burton: Anno Dracula is just delightful. (Note To Self: Check the wayback machine!)
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Sep. 9th, 2017 09:36 pm)
It was totally a trick question.

One of the roses from the skirt, half colored.

I did finish hand-coloring the whole thing today, and it was a very soothing activity. I also split the skirt most of the way up the front so I can wear it as an overskirt and have the whole thing be a little fuller than the original allowed for.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Sep. 8th, 2017 04:24 pm)
A question for the audience: am I crazy enough to take burgundy alcohol-based art markers and meticulously color all of the roses on a dark floral skirt I got the other day, because the roses are more orange and brick -toned than the photos on the listing appeared?

... I think this is a trick question. I just did a few test flowers, and they turned out beautifully. I foresee a lengthy clothing customization project in my future, because I'm pretty sure I AM that crazy.
Whhhhyyyyyyyy am I so tired? Oh, wait; awful air quality that's causing a kinda never-ending sinus headache, my body deciding that falling asleep is a thing that doesn't need to happen until after 3am (despite sleep meds and a rain noise app), and really vivid nightmares for the past three nights in a row.

Huh. Maybe that's why I'm tired? ~I GUESS, WHATEVER~ (Yes, ongoing sleep deprivation turns me into a whiny teenager.)


On the one hand, I really want to go see IT. On the other hand, that is one of the Stephen King books that absolutely terrified me (well, until "that scene" and all the chapters after it, because his endings are always hit or miss), and hey, guess who is kinda phobic about clowns? Also, those vivid nightmares I mentioned? One of them included elements from IT. Sooooo the current plan is to wait until it's released on streaming, so I can watch it at home. With the lights on. And fuzzy bunnies to hide behind. And anti-anxiety meds if needed.


The new Zola Jesus album was released today. On first listen, I really like it.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Sep. 6th, 2017 02:37 pm)
The assorted fires around the PNW have put me in a loop of anxiety, anger, and horrible sinus migraines. The more I think about the stupid kids who started the fires in Oregon with fireworks, the more furious I get.

Yesterday, I had to rinse ash out of the crow's water dish.

Part of the US is on fire, another part is underwater. I'm usually not one to read signs and portents into things, but right now, it's hard not to.
Dear [personal profile] sistawendy, I think you're wonderful, but you are so, SO wrong about weather. The Burning Orb is not our friend, and I kinda feel personally victimized by it.

Dear friends in California, I hope you're surviving.

Come on Autumn! I miss velvet and boots and NOT SWELTERING.


Something I just realized: ever since my two (!!) falls down the stairs, I am ... well, not exactly phobic about venturing upstairs to the Storage Heap Room o' Doom, but I won't do it if I'm the only one in the house. Which means that the crafting supplies I brought down on Friday aren't being taken back up until the Stroppy One gets home from his day at PAX.


Eldergoth Upkeep! Or, I put acid on my face today in the name of skincare!

Over the past year or so, I've developed some brown discoloration on my face, which vexes me. Thanks to genetics and sunscreen, I've always had good skin, and yes, I'm a little vain about that, thankyouverymuch. Anyway, after a bunch of research, I'm pretty sure that it's the type of discoloration caused by fluctuating hormone levels, gosh thanks perimenopause. After more research, it looks like the main treatment a dermatologist would recommend is a series of glycolic acid peels, which are exactly what they sound like, where layers of skin are, um, gently chemically removed? To stimulate collagen production, promote cell turnover, and generally resurface your skin.

After even more research, I learned that 1) you can do this sort of thing at home, 2) the supplies are easily available, and 3) holy bats WAY less expensive than having a dermatologist do this. Amazon had the 30% glycolic acid solution and the fan brush to apply it (of course they did), I did a patch test last night, and then did the peel today.

It did sting a little bit. But I left it on for only a minute (which is the starter, baby-steps time), thoroughly rinsed (and rinsed and rinsed) my face with the baking soda & water solution, then coated my face in heavy moisturizer. It's a few hours later, and I have to admit that my skin does feel a tiny bit smoother. Anyway, I do the next one in two weeks, and I'll report back.



(Also, could I use more parentheses in this post? Yes, I am aware of my writing tics.)
Why yes, more vintage florals, with some vintage (aaaaugh, still can't believe the 90s are vintage) velvet dresses, and a couple of pairs of Olde Skool style goth boots. All of this is behind the cut, so people who want to scroll on past can do that easily.

Look, autumn is approaching, which means my thoughts are turning to velvet and boots )

Other than shallow fashion coveting? I didn't manage my 6am meeting this morning, because I woke up with a sinus headache that made me want to indulge in self-trepanation, then pack my sinuses with ice. So I went back to bed for five hours. But my team was understanding about it, and I still haven't had any sign of the tension migraines, so that's kind of awesome.

The first expedition for THREAT LEVEL: PUMPKIN happened last weekend, and was a lot of fun. I mostly bought black and burgundy faux roses, because they only come out for Halloween, and they're the best ones for decorating hats and making flower crowns.

cupcake_goth: (vampfangs)
( Aug. 29th, 2017 08:22 am)

- The Stroppy One is home! Proper sleep is possible again! (I slept pretty well when Kambriel and Curse were here, but the sleep during the weeks on either side of their visit was ... not great.)


- This is the week of 6am planning meetings for the dayjob. No matter what time I go to bed or how soundly I sleep, getting up at 5:50 in the morning is not a thing my body does, and I will spend this entire week feeling incoherent, unbalanced (literally and figuratively), and essentially like I'm dealing with a terrifying amount of jet-lag.

Pray for me. Wave bags of coffee in the direction of Seattle.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Aug. 21st, 2017 11:46 am)
My favorite photo I took from my back yard during the eclipse.

cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Aug. 17th, 2017 06:32 pm)
I need to try to remember that I have a few chronic health issues, which means that even if the changes in diet and the injections have greatly reduced my daily pain levels, I still don't have have the reserves of energy that I wish I did.

Hi, I've been Doing A Lot Of Things since last week. And will be Doing A Lot Of Things for at least a few days going forward.

You all can stop giving me that terribly patient look. I know what you're thinking.
Apparently the key to me not slowly losing my mind from multiple nights of unsettled sleep while The Husband is away is to have people come stay with me. Kambriel and C. are here! And C. is being very understanding about his sleeping in the living room while I steal Kambriel to snooze in the bedroom with me. I've slept soundly for the past few nights, and it has been AWESOME. Also, y'know, they're some of my favorite people, so just having them around (even while I'm laboring in the tech content mines during the day) is a delight.

Because they're out here, we organized a super-last-minute yard sale! Because I have, um, a LOT of clothes to sell (yes, even after last year's epic yard sale), Thea has things to sell, and Kambriel brought goodies to sell! (I swear I will not buy up all of her bat pillows.)

Anyhoodle, in case any Seattle-area peeps are interesting in checking out the sale:

Saturday, August 19th
11:30am - 6pm.
122 N 105th St WA 98133
The whirlwind trip down to PDX for filming was a lot of fun. The cast are adorable, the entire crew are wonderful and professional, and I had a lot of fun in my cameo-with-dialogue as a slightly concerned and disapproving Elder Goth. I wore an enormous hat, my sequinned skirt, and by lightweight black & gray striped bustle jacket made by my darling Kambriel.

(Me and the Executive Producer.)

The flight home was fraught, because the flight that was booked was cancelled, and I was bumped to an earlier flight. So filming went right up until I needed to run to the airport, there was a line at security, and I ran to my gate only to get there 5 minutes after the plane had taxied away.

But! Victorian goth girls bursting into tears motivates gate staff to find a solution. It turned out that there was an earlier plane to Seattle that had been delayed over an hour, and they were able to get me a seat on that.

The past couple days have been a whirlwind of friends doing some home repairs for me, getting a new washer and dryer installed, and a bunch of housework in preparation for having wonderful house guests. I'm kinda tired. But it's all worth it!

In other "my life is weird and awesome" news: A local radio station (and not one of the alternative or rock stations) has contacted me about doing an interview, because they have a running series of profiles on "interesting Seattle people". All righty, then!
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Aug. 11th, 2017 12:49 pm)

Hello anxiety spike, how are you? :: twitches ::

- One of the (many) problems with the hot, dry weather and the air full of smoke from the B.C. wildfires is that it makes my sinuses Very Unhappy and gives me awful sinus headaches. Which, of course, leads me to panicking about what if this is a sign that the injections are wearing off and heralds the return of the tension headaches?! Which it isn't, because not only are my eyes watering, but my neck isn't stiff and my jaw doesn't pop when I yawn. So, just sinus headaches. Just.

- The weather + smoke also means that I have the choice of windows open and aggravating my already angry sinuses, or windows shut and broiling. But when I lamented about this on FB (and everyone said "SHUT THE WINDOWS"), one person suggested filling the bath tub with cold water and putting a box fan in the open bathroom door to help push cool(er) air into the house. It's helping. I also pinned a dark towel up over the kitchen window that is currently curtainless (and only had lace curtains before), and that has also helped reduce the heat.

- Pete is away for three weeks, for two different events. This means the traditional not great sleep while he's gone started last night. But some friends are coming to stay with me next week, which means my hindbrain going "AAAAAAAAAAAH WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?!" and waking me up in the middle of the night will be a bit less. Plus, people I adore! Visiting me!


- I hired the teenage son of a friend to come extensively weed the yard. He came over at 7am today (because he's a weird morning child), and was still working at 10 when I was up. I gave him iced coffee, food, and money, and will absolutely be hiring him again. I hired a teenager to do yardwork! That is totally a sign of being an adult!

... I could have sworn there was other adulting I did, but I can't remember what it was.

Quick, someone tell me I don't need to get this jacket from ChicStar. Because even I kinda-sorta realize that 1) I don't actually need more jackets, and 2) it's too damn warm to be thinking about buying jackets.

Tonight, more swiffering of the floor (because Miss Erzabet No Biting sheds enough for three cats, and Vlad isn't much better), and then bleaching my streaks. AND MAYBE FALLING ASLEEP BEFORE 2:30 IN THE MORNING DESPITE HAVING TAKEN SLEEP MEDS. That would be nice.
(This was totally prompted by a comment I left on another friend's DW entry. :: waves in the direction of SF :: )

There's someone who I knew for approximately forever who is no longer in my life. The memories of all the times and things we shared make me wistful, but I realized the other day that I don't actually miss them. I guess I never stopped and thought about how often I tip-toed around them to make sure they wouldn't lose their temper, and how often I did the emotional labor. Which, no surprise, is a thing I am historically spectacular at not realizing, because my instinctual reaction is to take care of everyone else, because then I am Good and Helpful, and Not Being Selfish. Yeah, I know. The Brain Raccoons and I have done a lot of rounds on this, but I'm slowly getting better about it.


Shallow fashion burbling! I have been gifted something like 9 or 10 yards of burgundy, excellent quality rayon velvet. The good stuff, that was in production over 10 years ago. I know exactly what sort of coat I want made with it, I just have to wait until the weather is sufficiently cool enough that the Infamous BlueJay is willing to work with velvet. (I completely understand her objections to sewing velvet in summer.)

I did get around to doing my petticoat necromancy project so I have a long(ish) black petticoat with a black cotton base. There's just one problem: the petticoat I sacrificed for the necromancy project was one of Mom's old organza square dance petticoats, and. Um. My petticoat necromancy project turned out to be more lively floofy than I expected, even with only one layer of the organza. I am going to have to do some pruning so the thing will actually fit under my skirts. I suspect this is the sort of problem that only exists in my life.
- Saturday I spent with the creative team for a podcast I'm working on, going over the scripts. This is not a paying project, but it's going to be a lot of fun. We made some really good progress, yay! I wanted to go to a housewarming that some friends were throwing that evening, because I haven't seen them in too long and they're wonderful people, but the past week's heat and smoke left me with less energy than usual.

- Sunday I spent with the woman who is essentially my sister-in-law (married to my chosen-family big brother), taking a bunch of stuff to Goodwill to donate. And then running around some other thrift stores, because why not. I found two great lace blouses (which may or may not go into the Goth Yard Sale bins), 3 yards of good quality black velvet, and one of the vintage V.C. Andrews books with the fancy die-cut double covers! The type where the front cover has some sort of cut-out framing device -- a window, a shattered mirror -- with a character looking out of it, and an interior cover of that character in a gloomy setting appropriate to the plot. It wasn't one of the original Flowers in the Attic series, which are impossible to find with those covers, but still! Vintage V.C. Andrews with the fancy cover!

I am fascinated by V.C. Andrews books. They're solidly in the overwrought gothic horror genre (with a dash of romance, usually doomed), and not only did they end up in the hands of a lot of us who were probably too young to be reading them when they were published, but now they're kinda-sorta presented as YA. At least the original Flowers in the Attic trilogy is; I recently saw new trade paperback editions in the YA section of the bookstore, with new, soft-focus photos of a blonde girl and boy looking wistful. I reread that trilogy last year, and had several moments of "I cannot BELIEVE my parents let me read this when I was 11". My parents didn't ever restrict my reading, but in this case, I suspect they didn't know the contents of this particular book.

Anyway. Busy weekend! Trashy book ahoy! How are you folks?
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Aug. 3rd, 2017 06:17 pm)
Heatwave + smoke in the air from the BC wildfires (stay safe, you peeps!) + a night of horrible nightmares and stress dreams = I feel awful. Still no tension headache (YAY!), but awful. Today has been one long exercise in feeling groggy and woozy. I was going to head to the spa tonight, but I think I'm feeling a bit too tired and head-swimmy to feel safe about doing so. When I feel like this, my balance gets a little uncertain, which means I'm prone to slipping on perfectly dry floors.


I recently got this patch from Poison Apple Printshop, and am trying to decide what I want to put it on. It's actually the second of this patch I own; the first one is carefully appliqued to one of my long velvet waistcoats. I'm thinking I may put this one on the back of one of my many lace dresses, because having a summer version of the abracadabra wardrobe is appealing.


I just messaged an Amazon seller I had purchased a CD from. Instead of sending me the copy of Projekt Records Beneath the Icy Floe, Vol. 4, they sent me ... something else. In Japanese. Oh wacky Amazon seller. I hope they haven't sent my CD off to someone else.


THIS WEATHER IS NOT OKAY. Yes, Maura, I know you're thrilled with it. I love you, but you're completely wrong about this issue.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Aug. 1st, 2017 07:56 pm)
I think I have just found the perfect example of what I'm looking for in terms of unsettling, monstrous, and strangely cute.

Image hidden behind a cut, just in case any of you aren't into unsettling flowers with teeth )

I love it. The artist is in Russia, and is on Etsy. I want it so I can put it on a giant black sun hat.

Well, what I really want is for someone to do a stylized botanical illustration of it with leaves and twining vines, turn it into a repeating print in shades of pink, cream, and gray on a black background, and then put it up on Spoonflower so I can buy yards of it printed on the "organic sweet pea gauze" and make a skirt. Because that would be peak Victorian garden witch aesthetic.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Jul. 31st, 2017 10:02 pm)
While I still get a little angry about this vague ketogenic eating plan that I'm on (I miss grilled cheese sandwiches so much. So, so much.), but. Um. I've lost 19 pounds so far.

No, I'm not doing this for weight loss. Eating this way has reduced the systemic inflammation and chronic pain. In fact, between eating this way and the Botox injections, I haven't had this low of an overall pain level for years*.

But I'm also really damn happy about the weight loss.


In other news, it is going to be unbearably hot for the next few days. (Note to self: remember to put out extra water for the crows!) I am full of sympathy and slightly worried for my friends in PDX, because they're going to have it worse than Seattle.


The Great Uncluttering went a step further this weekend: the work space had to be cleared even more, because my fancy motorized standing desk arrived and needed to be set up! So everything got rearranged. I love my standing desk so much. Sure, my feet hurt after using it all day, but I've had standing desks before, and after a week or so, my feet stop hurting, and my back feels better because I'm not slouching all the damn time.

Maybe this weekend I'll tackle the next part of the Great Uncluttering: The Library. Depending on the weather and if I've melted.

*Welllllll, except for when I do something foolish like have a chocolate croissant. No, self, you can't have that much gluten anymore. Stop hoping you can occasionally indulge in more than a bite of something.
This skirt?

On the one hand, burgundy (good!), olive green (meh), and brown (ewwww) is not a color combo I'd considered wearing before.

On the other hand, falling leaves pattern!


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