When real things happen to imaginary people

cupcake_goth @ 2026-04-08T16:22:00

2026-04-08T23:27:55Z

Tuesday was "wake up with a pray for a coma" migraine, as in I tapped out of work the moment I was able to focus my eyes on the Slack app on my phone, then passed out for a few more hours. Then went downstairs, had food and coffee, took meds, and spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.

Which means, of course, that today is the rebound migraine; it's not overwhelmingly painful, but oh, the brain fog and vertigo. And I have two different sets of release notes that need to be cleaned up by the time I log off tonight, whee.

One good thing was today was migraine Botox day, so that'll take care of one breed of migraines. But that meant I lost time during the work day, and there's those release notes, and everyone who had rush projects last week are off at a customer expo this week which means no one is getting back to me with review notes and UGH. It's only Wednesday, but this week has been forever.

comments

I can't think of an appropriate bandom lyric

2026-04-06T19:53:00Z

- During one of my recent thrifting outings I found a copy of The Velvet Room, a Zilpha Keatley Snyder book I don't remember! With a fantastic pink cover, no less.

- Remember me mentioning that the neurosurgeon back specialist referred me to the targeted physio side of his team? I hadn't heard from them by last Friday, so I called, went through the labyrinth of call options, and finally spoke with someone who could schedule an appointment. The earliest they could find was June 11th. I'm unhappy, but the Stroppy One is LIVID. We started this process in Nov./Dec., and I've gotten some suggestions but no real help. I'm going to see if I can speak to someone about what will be discussed at the June 11 appointment and if we can make sure I get the targeted injections in my hip at that appointment, because ...

- We're going to the UK at the beginning of July. This means a lot of walking, and we want to make sure that I'm not in pain the entire trip. I'm still going to bring a fuckton of muscle relaxers with me.

- Related to the trip: During our last visit, Thea mentioned her mobility scooter and how it's made all the difference for her being able to do things. This prompted the Stroppy One to very gently bring the up the possibility of me renting one for the length of time we'll be spending in Edinburgh. I said that I understood that it could help me and we should look into it; I sat there for 10-ish minutes getting more and more upset, then burst into tears and said I didn't want to be that fat American on a disability scooter with no obvious disability. The Stroppy One said he understood and that he had been expecting me to have a freakout over that exact thing. (!!!) So that's a thing we need to discuss more, and hopefully I won't have a complete meltdown.

"But Jilli, you go out walking around, what makes you think you wouldn't be able to while on vacation?" This is true, but I generally don't do that every day, and when I do go out and Do Things, I usually end up taking muscle relaxers and pain meds when I get home AND spend the following day resting. So yeah, this is a big concern and the Brain Raccoons are determined to make me miserable about it. Ugh.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-04-01T14:15:00

2026-04-01T21:36:37Z

Everything is making me tired and meh and/or anxious. Work, concerns about Erzabet, my stupid mortal shell, the ongoing dumpster fire of the world right now ... all of it.

- Erzabet did seem better once she had the steroids, so we are getting a new version of her nightly ear cream that will be steroids + the treatment for the hyperthyroid issue. According to the vet, she's "perfect on paper", so maybe the issue with her intestines was general inflammation. Don't take after me, Erzabet!

- I say that because I have learned that garlic is REALLY not my friend, and causes a huge amount of inflammation. Between that and tomatoes causing the same thing, I may no longer be able to indulge in Mexican or Italian food. I am full of woe.

- I had the appointment with the neurologist back surgery specialist, and he was very helpful. The upshot is right now there isn't anything on the images that shows I'd be a good candidate for back surgery. So the sibling team to his is going to reach out to me so I can start targeted physiotherapy with them for my right hip, and have injections of a cocktail of steroids, lidocaine, and painkillers. If those things don't help, they'll discuss it with the neurologist back surgery specialist to figure out what the next steps might be.

- Work is ... yeah. There are several things I'm stuck on because I'm waiting on other people or automated processes. I wouldn't be worried about this if it wasn't for the woman who's pinch-hitting for my boss (who is out for family issues) really likes continuous updates on all projects. The pinch-hitting manager was also the manager for two of the writers who were let go, so of course my anxiety has latched onto that.

- I'm having a difficult time to work up the energy to do any witchcraft-related work. I want to, but the brain fog and apathy have been crushing. I also want to start keeping a paper and pen journal; it's something my therapist has strongly recommended and I want to do it, but brain fog and apathy.

Wow, I'm whiny. I keep fantasizing about being medically ordered to take a week at the seaside like Victorian invalid.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-03-29T12:51:00

2026-03-29T20:03:56Z

Yesterday some friends and I all felt well enough to actually carry through on a tentative plan we made! (All of us are some flavor of chronically ill and in pain, so this was kind of a big deal.) We went to a local pop-up "flea market". It was not a flea market in the traditional sense, it was a market full of vintage clothing etc. vendors. It was fun to wander through, but the only thing I bought was a back issue of Fangoria - a vampire special! At one stall I looked at a really pretty ceramic trinket box; I turned it over to look at the price ($20), and found the scraps of a Goodwill sticker still clinging to it. Yeah, no.

After we grabbed a snack, we hit two thrift stores and I Got Things! Two very pretty trinket boxes (a glass one with roses painted on the lid, the other is wood with mother of pearl inlay), three vintage gothic romances, a pajama set that is very Gothic Heroine in style, a candle snuffer, and a footed silver serving platter. We also found one of the most terrifying dolls I've ever seen, and no, none of us bought it.

Look, I'm a connoisseur of creepy dolls, and even I wouldn't want that thing in my house.

Because Leaving The House means proper clothes, I wore one of the Selkie-style blouses that the Madwoman in the Attic made for me. This style of blouse is possibly my new favorite wardrobe item, so it's a good thing I have ... um ... four of them already.

(Yep, I need to take the bust in a little bit. Simple enough.)

Of course, yesterday's outing has left me sore and headache-y today, so it's a good thing I hadn't made plans.

comments

No. Do not want.

2026-03-27T23:50:49Z

We took Miss Erzabet No Biting to the vet yesterday; despite her thyroid ear goo, she's lost weight, is still peeing and pooing everywhere, has been throwing up a lot, has been drinking a LOT of water, and has days of sneezing and being listless.

They drew blood, did x-rays, then gave her some fluids, vitamins, and steroids. The vet said that we'll have test results in a few days, but she has lost weight and just looking at her he's pretty sure there's something wrong. On the x-rays her kidneys looked smaller than they should, and her intestines "didn't look right", but he needs the tech to increase the contrast before he can make a diagnosis.

He used the phrase "be prepared in case of end of life procedures are needed". Not a phrase anyone ever wants to hear, and it sent me straight to my anti-anxiety meds.

For all we know, she'll be put on an additional med and she'll be healthy and happy for years. That's what I'm hoping for. Because while I love(d) all of our kitties, past and present, Miss Erzabet No Biting is the spiritual successor to my beloved Dread Beastie, and I'm not ready for her to leave.

Dear 2026, DO NOT.

comments

Shallow fashion ponderings

2026-03-25T20:45:48Z

No matter what I do, my hair isn't returning to its previous thickness. I'm loathe to ask my GP for any of the prescriptions that are supposed to help with that because I'm already taking eight prescription meds daily, plus the "as needed" ones, plus around nine or ten OTC supplements, so I don't want to add to that list.

So! I've decided to return to wearing a hat any time I leave the house. I just refurbished my black straw top hat; it now has a large plume of black ostrich feathers, a large antique lace bow with an antique rhinestone buckle, and pink faux roses tucked around the bow. I'm still dithering about if I want to make it even MORE over-the-top by adding a bat chiffon veil that would trail down from the back of the hat.

I'm also refurbishing all of my wide-brimmed hats, as carrying a parasol while using a cane probably requires more dexterity than I have. Everything is getting more veiling, and I'm dithering about if I need to order a few more crow skull replicas.

---

Thanks to some things rolling across my IG feed, I've learned about the world of Kitchener Style Essences, which supposedly help you learn "where your style and personality blend!" So a more elaborate version of finding your color season. (Good lord, Color Me Beautiful is still going strong. What a flashback to my teens.)

In October of last year, a "lost" essence was "found"/created: Oneiric. "A softer, more melancholic edge that merges mystery and muted darkness. Something that had never been fully acknowledged, at least not widely." Do you mean: Romantigoth? Doing more reading about it, why yes, they mean Romantigoth. But of course, the people who have latched onto it are quick to say it's not goth. Of course, what a surprise. But it's fun to read about, and is a source for more makeup inspirations.

---

Speaking of makeup, let me direct you to this post on Tumblr, where an absolutely adorable young lady demonstrates how to do a ghostly and haunted makeup look for folks with darker skin. Perfection.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-03-20T12:37:00

2026-03-20T19:47:07Z

Work yesterday left me incredibly frustrated. The ducks that are nibbling me to death have mutated to giant size and with razor-sharp beaks. Because I was so frustrated, I decided I needed to reread one of the most disturbing sets of Hannibal AU fics I've ever encountered: A Gifted Student and A Letter to My Abuser. They're gorgeously, awfully written. (If you decide to read them, pay close attention to the tags oh god pay close attention to them.)

A Letter to My Abuser is, in some ways, the harder read for me, because when I first read it I tried to figure out why I identified so hard with a side character; Ollie, so giddy to meet his literary idol, but forcibly warned/ran off by this AU version of Will Graham. When I read it last night, my brain went "ohhhhh, yeah, Neil Gaiman", and then I had to read some fluffy fic to scrub my brain.

I hope his victims get closure. And that they win the legal actions against him, because they deserve the money they're suing for.

---

EDITED TO ADD: I used to subscribe to FKAHerSweetness' Ko-Fi, as she left Ao3 and only posted her fic behind a paywall. I eventually ended my subscription because as time went on, I didn't enjoy how she wrote Will. She writes AUs only, and more power to her, but they became something I didn't want to read.

comments

I'm like a diamond on the inside / just add the pressure

2026-03-18T19:52:22Z

(Thank you FOB/Pete Wentz for always providing entertaining song lyrics.)

Everything is ugh. My back is having one of its stretches of hurting and feeling fragile, so my life involves lidocaine patches and dipping into the stash of muscle relaxers and heavy-duty pain meds. I've been having an upswing in different types of migraines, and I suspect the main culprits are weather and stress. All I want to do is sleep, and my mood can generally be described by that Charles Darwin quote of "I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything". With a large side of "meh". I really want a doctor to prescribe the historical treatment of going to the seaside for a week (with the appropriate servants to take care of me and bring me dainty treats while I sit with my feet in the ocean).

Today is particularly ugh, as we lost three writers yesterday and I need to cover their work while we hire new writers for those positions. (Yeah, read between the lines there and you can probably guess what happened.) Thankfully, I talked to my boss and asked how this would work with my current projects, and she told me that my number one priority right now is to focus on the writing/being a writer, and once those positions are backfilled, I'll go back to my Program Manager work. So at least I don't have to worry that I'm being held to two sets of different standards. But still, stressful.

Meh.

---

One thing that's been entertaining me is going through my Tumblr archives - prompted by a post going around asking people how long they've been on Tumblr oh my god 2010 really?! - and finding a lot of fun content and a lot of pink & black eye candy. But I realized (a bit too late) that I shouldn't read my text posts from 2011, because that was the worst year of my life. Dear Powers That Be, that isn't an invitation to go "hold my beer!" and try to overshoot that. I don't need that.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-03-13T14:36:00

2026-03-13T21:54:01Z

It's snowing. In March. Sure, why not.

---

In screaming fangirl news, AMC announced the June 7th premier date for The Vampire Lestat, posted the opening credits to YouTube, and released the second single. I DON'T WANT TO WAIT I WANT ALL OF IT NOW.

---

Speaking of vampires -- you know, one of my default states of being -- I have decided that a way to bring myself more joy is to lean into my pink and black aesthetic, with more of a vampire governess vibe. Because I've needed distraction recently, I made a Pinterest board. I may spend part of this weekend reworking my pink wide brimmed hat that has bat lace appliques on the underside of the brim and making a pink lace jabot.

---

Even more vampires: I spent last night reading a fantastic AU Hannibal/True Blood fic, only to get to the last chapter that was a note from the author saying they would no longer be updating the story as they have left the Hannibal fandom. DAMMIT.

---

Health stuff: I've been having bouts of stomach bloating and pain (mostly after I eat something) for no real reason I can identify, so I tried an experiment: for the past few days, I didn't have anything with cheese, and lo, everything was fine. Today I added cheese to the exact same thing I had for yesterday's lunch, and guess what? If I have become digestively sensitive to cheese, I want to punch a divine being in the face multiple times. Cheese my beloved, don't hurt me!

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-03-10T16:40:00

2026-03-10T23:50:29Z

Between yesterday and today, including medication-induced napping, I slept for over 13 hours. I guess that's what happens when I finally let myself rest on day six of a migraine. Yes, feel free to glare at me about being terrible at taking care of myself. I KNOW.

The ridiculous thing is I'm still tired. Like, if I logged off right now, zapped a buckwheat pillow to put on my face, and flopped on the couch, I'd be out for at least an hour.

---

I'm no longer in the "ugh I hate everything everything is stupid especially me" state that I'd been in over the past few weeks. Well, I still feel like randomly crying, but I don't hate myself, so progress yay?

---

Last night, the latest of Seanan McGuire's Incryptid series hit my Kindle, yaaaay! But I haven't started it yet because the book focuses on one of the characters --Sarah-- I don't care that much about. I prefer her as a supporting character, but also know I'm probably not going to get more books focused on Mary or Antimony for a while. (Also, anything about Sarah has a good chance of involving a giant spider, gaaaaaaah.)

---

Thanks to my Tumblr dash over the past few weeks, I am kicking myself for selling off this mandragora pendant from Moon & Serpent. I technically could afford replacing it, but I'm saving my money for my big tattoo, as in commissioning the art and then getting it inked.

comments

Still talking about that emotional support stuffed animal fb group

2026-03-07T22:50:07Z

To be clear, I support people doing whatever they want with their plushies. 100%. But I feel it’s weird to put a muzzle on them, or have a tag with your name, phone number, and address attached to their harness. I get that’s it’s to help get them back if you lose them, but the data privacy part of my brain is backing away chanting NO NO NO.

An interesting discussion that’s happened in the group is about microchipping your support plushie. On the one hand, putting an Apple air tag in Clovis would soothe some of my ever-present mild anxiety when he travels with me. On the other hand, that would involve opening a seam and carefully sewing it closed and in NO WAY do I feel comfortable doing that.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-03-02T16:53:00

2026-03-03T01:02:16Z

Today I am cranky and angry for no real reason. I mean, yeah, the ongoing dystopian hellscape that we're in, but that's an ongoing background hum. No, today is wanting to snap at everyone and everything. Which is an interesting change from feeling low or anxious, which is usually what the Brain Raccoons dish out, but I still don't like it.

---

The Stroppy One had a lightbulb moment and suggested that I check the side effects of the mass of meds that I take to see if any of them can cause nightmares. Interestingly that included steroids, antibiotics, Flonase, and daily steroid inhalers. I've stopped using Flonase, and that does seem to have made the nightly nightmares ease up. Now I need to do the same research to see if any of my meds cause acid reflux, because even tho' I'm on pantoprazole twice a day, acid reflux has been waking me up most nights. My Wegovy dosage hasn't increased, so that's not the trigger. But I need to figure it out, because if the acid reflux is bad enough, it can (say it with me now) trigger bronchitis for me. So fun.

---

Today's tarot card: the 4 of Bats (4 of Swords), which is all about needing rest and calm. ANVILS FALLING FROM THE SKY.

comments

Fangirl geebling

2026-02-22T20:50:10Z

The background: last year MCR announced the second US leg of the Long Live the Black Parade tour, with the city/date closest to me being Oct. 24 in L.A.. The Stroppy One sighed at the inevitable, and cass404 braved the Ticketmaster queue to get us tickets. the Ticketmaster online queue to get us tickets. Then MCR announced the final two shows of the tour, both in L.A.: Oct. 30 & 31. Cue much wailing from me, because there was no way I could afford to stay in L.A. for a week.

Last weekend, the Stroppy One suggested I ask Cass if I could stay at her place for a week, and the we head back to L.A. for the concerts. I stared, asked if he was okay with me missing our anniversary to go see MCR. He pointed out that he wouldn’t have suggested it if he wasn’t, just see if tickets were available you silly head.

So! After conferring with Cass, I’m going to see if any tickets are available. Because spending time with Cass is something I desperately miss, and omg my precious cupcakes of bombast.

comments

(still) pondering shallow consumerism (always)

2026-02-20T21:13:07Z

- While I still love love love this dress from a Ukrainian designer, I went to another website to ogle an embroidered long linen jacket that I've also pined over, and now I can't decide which to buy in a few weeks. I'm now leaning toward the linen piece, because that would be more versatile.

- I spent some time idly searching for granny and/or "Victorian" boots across eBay, Poshmark, and Depop, and let me tell you, there is nothing out there with combination of a pointed or almond toe shape, lace-up, a side zipper, and a 2" block or walking heel. But then I had the possibly brilliant thought of taking a pair of my existing lace-up boots to a cobbler to have a side zip put in. I need to ponder this some more, but I sense a trip to the cobbler in my future.

- Remember that fabric with the Haunted Mansion wallpaper print on AliExpress? It arrived, and the print quality is good! The actual color isn't pink, but a bright wine, which also works for me. When the Stroppy One saw the fabric, he told me to order more, as he wants a waistcoat in it, and possibly a jacket.

---

I'm constantly tired, no matter how much sleep I get, and I'm having non-stop stress nightmares every night. Dear Brain, a nightmare of the Stroppy One presenting us with divorce papers because we got his coffee order wrong is ridiculous, as is the one where he abandons me at airport security and walks off with my passport and Clovis Devilbunny. RIDICULOUS, STOP IT.

comments

A list of random things, mostly shallow consumerism

2026-02-13T23:00:27Z

- I'm still dithering about the striped blouse and skirt from Blackwood Castle. The dithering continues because 1) do I really need more clothes? and 2) ...

- I spent a not-inconsiderable sum on a one-of-a-kind pendant from Bloodmilk. I missed it when it was originally for sale, but the woman who bought it is in France and realized that because of other things, she couldn't afford the tariffs and other shipping nonsense. She's reached out to Bloodmilk and they will ship it directly to me.

- Having bought that has also helped me deal with the extreme annoyance of learning that Chanel brought back Rouge Noir lipstick as a limited edition and it's already sold out and is going for double the original price over on Poshmark. Both the Stroppy One and minim-calibre reminded me that there was no way of seeing the color IRL (of course it was an online/boutique only release), so I had no way of telling if the color was accurate or if it skewed warm like so many dark blackened red lipsticks do these days.

- AMC has released another teaser trailer for The Vampire Lestat! Plus finally released the first single, "Long Face", for sale on various music platforms, and UPDATED THE MERCH STORE WITH A TOUR SHIRT. Sooooo those are things I tripped and hit the Buy Now button for.

- The Ghost concert is Sunday, wheeee! Faux -Satanic metal + bombast is exactly what I need right now. Shallow Fashion Details for my planned outfit:

Black and pink striped unnerving governess dress
Black lace and ribbon jabot that has the "Memento Vivre / Memento Mori" ribbon from Kalma as the focal point
Wide black elastic belt with skeleton hand buckle
Hair pulled up under a vintage black silk top hat (it's a short crown hat, so it won't block anyone's view) festooned with veils
Black and pink Dr. Martens
Black face mask

Now to hope I can manage to dye at least the front half of my hair so it's not a faded mess that shows beneath the hat.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-02-08T12:47:00

2026-02-08T20:52:42Z

We're going to a superbowl gathering today. It's with the usual suspects, so it'll be a nice social gathering, which is the reason I'm going. I'm going to settle in a corner of the living room with my hand sewing project and be utterly confused by what is happening on screen; to say I'm not a football person is an amazing understatement.

---

I'm starting to feel much better thanks to the THIRD FUCKING ROUND of steroids and antibiotics. Everyone cross your fingers that this takes care of it all. But I still have to remind myself that I'm recuperating, and I've got :: waves hands vaguely :: the back thing, so I have to be even more mindful of what I do and how I move. I am very bad at remembering all of this.

---

OH MY GOD I WANT TO DYE MY HAIR. But it's fascinating to see how much white has taken over the front of it.

comments

Cute but kinda odd?

2026-02-07T01:13:07Z

FB recommended the group "essa - comfort stuffed animal". It's exactly what it sounds like: do you have a stuffed animal that gives you emotional support? Talk and share photos in the group!

It's cute seeing everyone's photos, but ... DRAMA! Does your stuffed animal count as an essa if you haven't dressed it in a tiny "Support Animal" vest? Why did you pick that stuffed animal? OMG you aren't cleaning them the ~~right~~ commentor's way? If they're truly an essa, why are you asking for support or ways to feel more comfortable taking them with you out in the world?

Like, serious drama over these things. Which, of course, means it's a REAL online group/community, right?

(The tiny "Support Animal" vests that people think means their stuffed animals are more valid than others is WILD. Clovis Devilbunny thinks the whole thing is hilarious.)

comments

Someday I will post about something other than my health

2026-02-05T21:46:13Z

But today is not that day.

I had an appointment with my GP yesterday, and after listening to my lungs and gently touching my face to check how inflamed my sinuses were (very, I winced away from her fingers every time), I have won yet more fucking steroids and antibiotics. I spent the night in a huge amount of discomfort (understatement), and I don’t know if that’s because of the heavy-duty antibiotics, or if last night’s dinner at a restaurant had something wrong with it. I felt unwell enough that I took today off, even tho’ I’m starting to feel a tiny bit anxious about how often I’ve had to tap out of work because of my health.

We also went over my MRI results, wheee. Bursitis in both hips, mild scoliosis, a few discs that have started to bulge, and more spinal stenosis than expected. In other words, my back is absolutely messed up. I spoke to one of of the patient advocates/scheduling specialists at the neurology/back branch of Virginia Mason (I’ve been in back and forth calls with them for a few weeks); consultation appointments are being scheduled six months out, and they can’t even start scheduling appointments for August until March. I’m less than thrilled.

Ugh. Bodies are stupid.

comments

Of possible interest to some of you

2026-01-30T01:17:36Z

There's a store on AliExpress that has fabric of the Haunted Mansion wallpaper in multiple colors! Yes, I immediately ordered enough for a dress.

comments

Shallow outfit dithering

2026-01-30T00:08:29Z

I'm going to the Ghost concert in about two weeks, which means I've started thinking about my outfit. The front runner so far:

Pink & black stripe long sleeve high collar dress
Black waist cincher (boning for back support, yay!)
Hair pulled back under the wide-brimmed pink hat decorated with black lace bat appliques
Giant round onyx pendant
Black rosary beads with black heart perfume bottle
Pink & black Dr. Marten boots

The reasons I'm contemplating the hat are 1) it means I wouldn't have to wrangle my thin-but-prone-to-tangling hair, and 2) the hat is awesome. And because I'm short, I'm about 90% certain that it wouldn't block anyone's view of the stage.

The second choice:

B&W / glow-in-the-dark bats long sleeve high collar dress
Black waist cincher (boning for back support, yay!)
Hair pulled back with hair floofs and some sort of black flowers & veil headpiece
Giant round onyx pendant
Black rosary beads with black heart perfume bottle OR glow-in-the-dark rosary with an ankh pendant
Black & clear rhinestone Betsey Johnson platform(ish) flats

Aaaaaannd I need to double-check the bag policy for the venue. At least I know where my clear concert purse is if that's what I have to carry with me.

comments

Left the house!

2026-01-25T22:29:21Z

minim_calibre very kindly came over yesterday to help me run some errands AND slowly pootle around two thrift stores. There wasn’t anything worthwhile at Value Village, which is sadly becoming the norm. Well, there were some dresses that could have been turned into something interesting, but I stuck to my clothing no-buy. PRAISE ME.

The other thrift store was The Discovery Shop, which is a small nonprofit for the American Cancer Society. It’s a few blocks from my house, which means that once I’m healthy I need to make more of an effort to walk up there on a regular basis. Because, as with most smaller, charity-specific thrift stores, the selection is much better. I bought two pieces of jewelry: a crystal necklace with an antique skeleton key pendant (minim handed it to me, saying, “This belongs to you”), and a vintage belled bracelet, because I want to return to jingling when I walk. I pined over a huge blown glass candelabra with multiple arms, but acknowledged that I ha no place to put it. But my god, it was stunning.

I learned that both The Discovery Shop and Value Village have “senior discount days” on Tuesdays, and that “senior” is 55+! Time to schedule a regular thrifting day!

All of the excitement of leaving the house took its toll, however, and I’m absolutely exhausted today. Plus I’m starting a new round of different antibiotics, because my symptoms returned once I finished the first round. Thank goodness that my preferred urgent care clinic offers telehealth appointments.

comments

Frivolous dithering

2026-01-21T20:32:24Z

I'm starting to seriously consider selling my VINTAGE Fluevog Swordfish shoes and boots. I love them. LOVE. I never wear them, because even tho' the 3" heel are wide and sturdy, my back has made it pretty clear that those shoes and boots are not made for walking. Not for me.

I'm tempted to hold onto the boots so I can use them as vases for dried flowers (I can't find the image on Pinterest, but I saw something similar done and it looked great), but I will first need to have a probably convoluted discussion with the Stroppy One about putting outdoor footwear on any furniture, even after they've been carefully cleaned. (His weirdness around this is too long to get into here, but it starts from a superstition around not putting footwear on chairs or tables.)

---

INCREDIBLY shallow whining related to the state of the world (because if I start thinking seriously about things, I freeze in panic): I guess I should have purchased the pretty pretty dress from the Ukrainian designer earlier, because who knows if the $USD will be worth anything and if anyone outside the US will be willing to ship anything to a US address.

---

I need help from the sewing and costuming hive mind! I have a many dresses like this. (Mine don't have the wide sash/belt.) The skirt is two rectangles gathered at the waist, with the pockets inset at those side seams. I want to occasionally lift the skirt to about knee-length so I can wear the dress with different skirts. I've tried actual skirt lifters, and they didn't work well. I tried ribbons sewn on the outside of the waist with matching ribbons sewn on the inside at the point where the ruffle is attached to the skirt, thus catching a bundle of the skirt in a loop of ribbon that shows on the outside. (The Madwoman in the Attic saw this attempt, clutched her head, said, "NO", and left the room.) So I'm out of ideas. Help?

comments

I guess being couch-bound means I post a lot

2026-01-19T21:44:04Z

Behold the shiny! Which was almost entirely paid for by Poshmark profits, so in terms of “real” money wasn’t unreasonably expensive.

—-

My god does my hair need dying. It’s not going to happen any time soon, but I sigh every time I look in the mirror right now. There are so many projects I want to do right now, and I KNOW I must not. Even the ones that would be something I could do while sitting on the couch watching movies. Getting up to put on a movie leaves me shaky, which is a sure sign I need to keep resting. Hmmph.

—-

Yesterday I learned that Miss Erzabet No Biting has blanket preferences. I had switched around some of the blankets I was under on the couch, with a polyester knitted one on top. She would walk onto my lap, look bewildered, and hop off. As soon as I switched things back to having the woven cotton ones as the top layer, she immediately settled down. Yes, my cat is spoiled.

—-

Speaking of the kitties, they turn 15 this year, which means we’ve owned them for almost half our marriage. That’s weird to think about.

comments

cupcake_goth @ 2026-01-18T18:17:00

2026-01-19T02:29:18Z

It has been decided that I’m NOT going to buy that stripy set from Blackwood Castle, because minim linked me to an eBay auction for a stunning piece of jewelry and reminded me that stripy goth clothes are relatively easy to find. I’m waiting for my Poshmark profits to hit PayPal, and then I’ll hit Buy It Now.

—-

The Stroppy One has decided it’s necessary for him to remind me over and over that my #1 priority, my only chore right now, is to rest as much as possible. Especially because he leaves for a show on Thursday, so he won’t be around to look after me for a few days. Yes, the Madwoman in the Attic will be around, but our schedules are somewhat offset.

—-

Someone please remind me that my new boss asking if we need to set up some sort of medical accommodation for me for the next few weeks means she wants me to be okay, not that she’s annoyed I’m sick and this will be noted on my permanent record or something? Because I know my reaction is PTSD from previous bad managers, but the Brain Raccoons are doing their little song and dance, because of course they are.

comments

Wittering

2026-01-18T22:13:46Z

I was worried about ordering that striped top and skirt from Blackwood Castle since, as they’re in Canada and who knows what the tariff fuckery would be. But I did some digging through their site and discovered they opened a US warehouse in August! Between that and the fact that I sold some things on Poshmark recently, yeah, I’m probably going to buy the set.

—-

Fandom whining: I know fic writers are doing their own thing, but it’s always sad when a writer I’ve subscribed to migrates to a fandom I don’t care about, sometimes abandoning their other works in progress. Le sigh.

—-

I think the new prescriptions are kicking in. I’m not coughing quite as much, and the Stroppy One said my breathing overnight didn’t sound as wet and crackling. I still get exhausted any time I get up from the couch AND I’m jittery from the steroids, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to sit in my office and get work done on Tuesday.

—-

Women of a Certain Age will understand this: with violent coughing comes the need for constantly changing pads, and I’m so tired of it.

comments