Seen in e_juliana's LJ

[cupcake_goth]

Let me save you $40, here's how to be happy. (Clicky-link!)

Yes, what the author is saying is obvious. And yes, I know that lots of us follow some (or all) of his advice. But hey, reminders are good!

You really should click through and read the post, but the condensed version is this:

1. Stop being a dick.
2. Stop whining.
3. Get out, get some exercise, unplug and deal with real people.
4. If people are treating you like crap, then let them go.
5. Your critics are always right.
6. Do hard stuff for a change.
7. Let stuff go / suck it up.

Sooo, I really need to keep working on 2, 6, and 7. I need to remember all of them, really, but 2, 6, and 7 are the ones I tend to not be as diligent about.

EDIT: a comment from javagoth made me want to clarify something. No, I don't entirely agree with #5. But, I think it's meant in the "Their perception is valid, and you might want to try and figure out what has given them that particular perception of you. Don't just dismiss it out of hand."

One's critics aren't always right. But I do think listening to one's critics is more valuable than a knee-jerk dismissive reaction.

Comments

[tzaddi-93.livejournal.com]

I really liked this part: "It’s hard to demand your dignity, it’s hard to submit to humility, and it’s hard to focus on self-improvement instead of self-destruction. But, if you do those things, you’ll be happier for it. Take the hard road: that’s where the good stuff is."

Regarding #5: I think this one is partially true, with some caveats. Yes, if someone you respect or care about comes to you with a valid concern about your behavior, it's worth at least listening to and thinking about. Ditto if multiple people have the same criticism of you. My husband's favorite uncle used to say, "If one person has a complaint about you, it's probably them. If two people have a complaint about you, it might be you. If three people have the same complaint about you, it's you."

I won't buy into the "all critics are automatically right," because everyone views the world through their own cultural and personal biases. Many of the criticisms people get are actually the "reactions" described in #1, dressed up to look like rational critique. Also, someone's perception of your behavior might be the result of miscommunication/misunderstanding (i.e. they think you are a snob when you are really painfully shy.) I can agree that their statements, if brought to you with respect and seriousness, a worthy of consideration. But just because their perceptions are valid to them does not mean that their conclusions are automatically objectively correct.