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Let me save you $40, here's how to be happy. (Clicky-link!)
Yes, what the author is saying is obvious. And yes, I know that lots of us follow some (or all) of his advice. But hey, reminders are good!
You really should click through and read the post, but the condensed version is this:
1. Stop being a dick.
2. Stop whining.
3. Get out, get some exercise, unplug and deal with real people.
4. If people are treating you like crap, then let them go.
5. Your critics are always right.
6. Do hard stuff for a change.
7. Let stuff go / suck it up.
Sooo, I really need to keep working on 2, 6, and 7. I need to remember all of them, really, but 2, 6, and 7 are the ones I tend to not be as diligent about.
EDIT: a comment from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
javagoth made me want to clarify something. No, I don't entirely agree with #5. But, I think it's meant in the "Their perception is valid, and you might want to try and figure out what has given them that particular perception of you. Don't just dismiss it out of hand."
One's critics aren't always right. But I do think listening to one's critics is more valuable than a knee-jerk dismissive reaction.
Yes, what the author is saying is obvious. And yes, I know that lots of us follow some (or all) of his advice. But hey, reminders are good!
You really should click through and read the post, but the condensed version is this:
1. Stop being a dick.
2. Stop whining.
3. Get out, get some exercise, unplug and deal with real people.
4. If people are treating you like crap, then let them go.
5. Your critics are always right.
6. Do hard stuff for a change.
7. Let stuff go / suck it up.
Sooo, I really need to keep working on 2, 6, and 7. I need to remember all of them, really, but 2, 6, and 7 are the ones I tend to not be as diligent about.
EDIT: a comment from
javagoth made me want to clarify something. No, I don't entirely agree with #5. But, I think it's meant in the "Their perception is valid, and you might want to try and figure out what has given them that particular perception of you. Don't just dismiss it out of hand."One's critics aren't always right. But I do think listening to one's critics is more valuable than a knee-jerk dismissive reaction.
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From:
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You know, I thought about #5 and my thoughts went: quibble, quibble, quibble, and then I thought better. No, MAYBE my critics aren't always right, but it is ALWAYS a good idea to try listening receptively, openly, just to counterbalance the natural to resist criticism. This tendency is so strong, so universal, and so destructive, that it's a worthwhile gamble for me to listen, just as an experiment. Even if I then come back and have a hundred reasons why my critics are wrong, wrong, wrong. At least I can say I looked at the other side. It is worth it.
It's important to note that he's referring to ways that people behave or come across, and "criticism" of one's personal appearance does not have to affect one's self-worth. It's like, if someone says to me "hey, your ears are big!" it's like, well, OK, materially, concretely, they are. And? Can't please everyone. But if someone says "you are a whiny, argumentative bitch," I can decide what that information is worth to me. If I want more friends who prefer more demure friends, then I can change the argumentative part. If the whiny part makes me cringe, I can change the whiny part. Or I can decide that I like these flaws and keep them, but at least I know the cost of my decision.
Of course, if it turns out that they're just being a dick (#1) then I am OK with letting them (#4) go.