cupcake_goth | I am easily amused: shallow makeup thoughts

In between editing things, I've been reading the reviews at Makeup Alley of Chanel's black nail polish. It's very fun to read the contortions the trendy fashion junkies are going through to explain how Chanel's black nail polish is So Much Better than any other black nail polish, and how it Isn't Goth At All, but Fashionable and Elegant, Dahling.

"This is a true elegant black. Slightly punky but not goth, it's the black you get from a soft black kajal eyeliner or the black of a true shot of espresso."

"So you think this is you average $5 black polish or even the Halloween black polish that Wet n Wild puts out. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I didn't want to spend $18 for a black nail polish. But I did. Think of that sleek black Maserati that when the sun hits it, the black paint emits many dimensions of its undertones-blues, silvers, greys, etc. Black is not black but more of an illusion of it as the light rays bounce off the polish. It doesn't look goth nor does it look playful. It looks sleek and sophisticated like that sports car!"

"Once it gets messy looking, your black nail polish goes from stylish to "goth"."

Now, I wear black nail polish all the time, and consider it as work appropriate as the strange, hyper-white tipped French manicures I see on other people. But, black nail polish ALWAYS says "goth" or "punk". Always. Anyone who believes otherwise has mainlined too many fashion magazines, and should probably take a little break and try and find their own style, instead of having one dictated to them every six weeks or so.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Date: 2006-09-28 09:26 pm (UTC)

From:

water-of-fire.livejournal.com

sensitive eyes should look away, because Miss Laurel hasn't slept

Dammit.

You know what I just realized? I'm the resident foulmouthed crypto-Brujah on your friends list. Give me just a second to shriek a string of invective into a pillow.

*MURBLEDY STRING OF INVECTIVE! REALLY FILTHY EPITHETS THAT'D MAKE THE FRENCH BLUSH!!!!*

Dear Fashionistas,
Grip it. Just because you got a hipsterectomy at age *murbledy-murble* does not mean 1) we also got the memo, or 2) we want you misappropriating our most beloved cultural expression.

Because, motherfuckers, black nail polish is goth. Black nail polish is now, has always been and will always be goth. There's no two fucking ways about it.

Have you ever driven a Maserati (or fucked someone who did?)? GODDAMMIT. UNHAND MY $5 WET'N'WILD BLACK POLISH!

Don't hate us because we're more beautiful than you are, hate us because we like it.

love,
Laurel

Date: 2006-09-28 09:34 pm (UTC)

cupcake-goth.livejournal.com

Re: sensitive eyes should look away, because Miss Laurel hasn't slept

You know what I just realized? I'm the resident foulmouthed crypto-Brujah on your friends list.

Bwah-ha-ha!

(And for the record, snorking fizzy water? Painful. Really damn painful.)

I just want to respond to all those reviews with "It's so cute how all of you think you're edgy when you badly appropriate things from my chosen subculture."