I am easily amused: shallow makeup thoughts

[cupcake_goth]

In between editing things, I've been reading the reviews at Makeup Alley of Chanel's black nail polish. It's very fun to read the contortions the trendy fashion junkies are going through to explain how Chanel's black nail polish is So Much Better than any other black nail polish, and how it Isn't Goth At All, but Fashionable and Elegant, Dahling.



"This is a true elegant black. Slightly punky but not goth, it's the black you get from a soft black kajal eyeliner or the black of a true shot of espresso."


"So you think this is you average $5 black polish or even the Halloween black polish that Wet n Wild puts out. Yeah, I thought the same thing. I didn't want to spend $18 for a black nail polish. But I did. Think of that sleek black Maserati that when the sun hits it, the black paint emits many dimensions of its undertones-blues, silvers, greys, etc. Black is not black but more of an illusion of it as the light rays bounce off the polish. It doesn't look goth nor does it look playful. It looks sleek and sophisticated like that sports car!"


"Once it gets messy looking, your black nail polish goes from stylish to "goth"."



Now, I wear black nail polish all the time, and consider it as work appropriate as the strange, hyper-white tipped French manicures I see on other people. But, black nail polish ALWAYS says "goth" or "punk". Always. Anyone who believes otherwise has mainlined too many fashion magazines, and should probably take a little break and try and find their own style, instead of having one dictated to them every six weeks or so.

Comments

[shoindiematrix.livejournal.com]

Wow, so I guess by their standards of "stylish" or "elegant", not many people are goth. Blah. :-P Honestly, I just think that the fashion world is intimidated by the idea of "goth" or "punk". They want to take the elements they like, but stay very meanstream, very acceptable by everyone. Nothing controversial, because, of course, controversial doesn't sell.

[kijjohnson.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize goths had to be messy. Maybe it's time to start letting your bra straps show.

sensitive eyes should look away, because Miss Laurel hasn't slept

[water-of-fire.livejournal.com]

Dammit.

You know what I just realized? I'm the resident foulmouthed crypto-Brujah on your friends list. Give me just a second to shriek a string of invective into a pillow.

*MURBLEDY STRING OF INVECTIVE! REALLY FILTHY EPITHETS THAT'D MAKE THE FRENCH BLUSH!!!!*

Dear Fashionistas,
Grip it. Just because you got a hipsterectomy at age *murbledy-murble* does not mean 1) we also got the memo, or 2) we want you misappropriating our most beloved cultural expression.

Because, motherfuckers, black nail polish is goth. Black nail polish is now, has always been and will always be goth. There's no two fucking ways about it.

Have you ever driven a Maserati (or fucked someone who did?)? GODDAMMIT. UNHAND MY $5 WET'N'WILD BLACK POLISH!

Don't hate us because we're more beautiful than you are, hate us because we like it.

love,
Laurel

[water-of-fire.livejournal.com]

*clears throat*

Better now. :) Lord yes, how are hyper-white-tipped French manicures less bizarre than black polish? Myself, I am partial to OPI's gorgeous hematite-colored "Black Satin" and blackety-grapety "Lincoln Park After Dark."

It spooks me when mainstream culture picks us back up. But then, I'm still the girl who wants a Kambriel wedding gown. :)

[euterpe35.livejournal.com]

"the black of a true shot of espresso"

in other words: Brown.


gah.

I like what Laurel said. :-)

[minim_calibre]

the black of a true shot of espresso.

So... dark brown, then?

With crema?

If I wasn't a Firm Believer in keeping my nails girlslash short, I'd want a Dru french manicure. Because that was pretty.

The regular ones are just scary and weird.

[reddheart.livejournal.com]

I now want a French Manicure..but instead of that lovely rosy pink base..I want black.

Creep-o-cure, here I come!


Ahem. This message brought to you by not enough caffeine.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

Anyone who believes otherwise has mainlined too many fashion magazines, and should probably take a little break and try and find their own style, instead of having one dictated to them every six weeks or so.

That needs to be carved in big letters near Westlake Center.

[serenada.livejournal.com]

I...I'm not goth.

I don't think.

And I'm pretty sure I'm not punk.

But the manicure before this one (which is the red of venal blood) (and probably the one after too) was black.

I suppose it's possible I'm not mainstream. It's an icky word. I just don't feel alternative.

[pvcdiva.livejournal.com]

grrr...

Having been painting my nails black for years, I've tried just about every brand version of the shade there is, and I can tell you that the cheap brands are many times better than the pricier ones...

I've tried the Chanel black polish and the NARS one, and they were both considerable goopy, hard to use, had badly designed lids and nasty brushes, and were less long lasting than el cheapo Barry M at £2.95 a bottle. Very irritating when you've choughed up £14 for them - yup fourteen British pounds - so stupidly expensive.

I'm currently into a reverse French of some fashion with either beige or white base and black tips...although often end up with not so much neat half-moon shaped sweeps of the alternate colour but pointy shapes, and Burtonesque curliques...hence:

(http://photobucket.com/)

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

I rarely paint my *nails* any more. I painted them in rainbow last night. red on the left pinky to blue on the left thumb and then blue to deep red through purple on the right starting at the right thumb in blue. I had to mix the orange myself, but it came out nicely. Granted, I need a new yellow now. heh.

Channel makes me shake my fist. I sometimes like the concept of their couture clothing lines, but they always good *too far* with an idea. I don't mean too big, I mean too tacky. Like the "dragged through blood" concept they did last year. I love the concept, but it looked more like "dragged through bright red paint" in the execution. Or they will take an otherwise fabulous garment and then do something stupid like add fringe or big pallette sequins to it, so it goes right straight through to gaudy.

and you have heard me rant on more than 50 occassions about their coarse pigment grinds, use of dreadful ingrediants, and the horrendous quality of their products. I LOATHE them.

and the makeup reviewers in the fashion magazines that worship them but blow over the really good stuff (like... oh... I dunno... Make-Up Forever, for instance), well... let's just say that it makes it easier for me to ignore those magazines forever from there. These aren't reviews, these are advertisements and are paid for with product and perks (invite to the backstage of a rock concert anyone?).

me, jaded? never. :|

oh, and to them I say "keep your cheesy little trend following, fashion backward, illiterate, bland, boorish, vapid, claws off my subculture"

I should do a makeup review site/blog on the internet one of these days. Really get down and dirty about this stuff, maybe it would educated a few of these morons. But I doubt it.

[wormtorturer.livejournal.com]

Anybody who pays $5 for Wet 'n Wild nailpolish is getting ripped off. I think the most expensive 24-hour drugstore in town charges $2.09 or something.

Oh, and I absolutely adore the manicure with the black curlicues! Darling! Squee!