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(Good lord, I don't have my leech jar icon at DW. Must fix that.)
Hard Lessons I Am Learning About My Health, by Cupcake Goth:
A few days of running around (and, let's be honest, stress, because getting lasers shot into one's eye IS stressful) leaves me very, very wiped out. Add to that a new antibiotic to the handful of meds to deal with the Lyme's Disease, Epstein-Barr virus, and the (stops to think) four other co-infection things? YES, Cupcake, you are going to have days were you don't feel capable of doing anything.
I do not like this. I am learning to be better about taking care of myself, but I don't like it. I'm going to stamp my feet in annoyance, now.
Hard Lessons I Am Learning About My Health, by Cupcake Goth:
A few days of running around (and, let's be honest, stress, because getting lasers shot into one's eye IS stressful) leaves me very, very wiped out. Add to that a new antibiotic to the handful of meds to deal with the Lyme's Disease, Epstein-Barr virus, and the (stops to think) four other co-infection things? YES, Cupcake, you are going to have days were you don't feel capable of doing anything.
I do not like this. I am learning to be better about taking care of myself, but I don't like it. I'm going to stamp my feet in annoyance, now.
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If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. - Jack Kornfield (American teacher of Buddhism)
Because we live in a culture that reveres toughness, soldiering on through every conceivable (and in case of the movies, improbably and even impossible) obstacle/burden/bizarro freaky thing, it's REALLY HARD to admit to ourselves that sometimes, we need to rest.
You need to rest. Your body seems to be telling you this rather adamantly. I get it. It's no fun. I, too, have stamped my widdle booties in annoyance. Go ahead and stamp, my dear. It helps to get the frustration out (like you need internalized frustration on top of the other very taxing things your body's fighting right now!). Then sit back, have some lovely exotic tea, and breathe. We're all so very much better for your gifts to us. It would be delightful if you're in condition to continue sharing them :-)
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What's most important for me it to remember that this particular issue is TEMPORARY - just as your Lyme disease, laser-d eyes and at least some of that co-infections stuff. When you get that stuff done, the rest will fall into place as it should.
But yea, it's hard to just *rest* in this culture...
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You are in a process time of learning what your limits actually are. The next step is planning accordingly - when you see that your schedule is going to include something stressful (physically, mentally, or emotionally) you make sure that the rest of that day and the following day include treats, rest, and recuperative things. If your day is going to have things with a *potential* to be taxing in any of these ways, the rest of that day and the next should have *flexibility* to be turned into times of rest and recuperation.
Unfortunately, the only way you are really going to know where your boundaries actually are is by exceeding them for a while. While it can be done as moving forward in tiny increments, neither of us is the sort of girl who does things in tiny increments and we both know that, so why pretend that's really a valid option?
Also to be put on the "important things to remember when making plans" list: writing takes energy and is emotionally and spiritually taxing, and can even be physically taxing if you write for long periods of time. Be sure you are adding rest/recuperation time into your schedule for that as well.
How soon you need to rest after these things transpiring is something you will have to figure out. It may need to happen immediately, and it may be possible to wait until the evening and take the following day as a day of rest.
Something else to remember - although they do not always take the necessary time for it, perfectly healthy people need to rest after stressful and taxing things too.
And yes, it is extremely frustrating and upsetting to have an invisible disability. Not only do other people have no comprehension of what you feel like, nor have the ability to really process than you are *unwell*, but it is difficult to look in the mirror and see those things for yourself. Society really hammers in that lacking energy means failing. We are supposed to be strong, energetic, vibrant, perfect beings who can take on hundreds of things in a day. Healthy people can't do those things, and people like you and I certainly can't. But we continue to expect ourselves to accomplish things beyond the abilities of perfectly healthy people, largely because we have those rare occasions when we actually *do*. But that can't be all the time. It just can't. As much as we want it to be, it can't.
And you know what? That's okay. Take each day as it comes. schedule accordingly. Give yourself a break. Try to find acceptance for your limitations. Frustration is also taxing. Trust me on that. Focus on doing those things you do have energy for, when you don't have energy for the other stuff. This is really wear the embroidery comes in nicely -- it is low energy expenditure, but gives you accomplishment.
TLDR version: scale back your expectations for yourself a bit - perfectly healthy people could never accomplish all the things you expect yourself to do every day.
How is the chocolate rose tea?
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My lovely almost 14 year old daughter checked this book out of the library yesterday. I'm so proud. *sniff sniff*
http://www.amazon.com/Gothic-Classics-Graphic-14/dp/0978791908/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1313178903&sr=8-1
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Somebody needs to post video of you stamping your feet. It would be to-die-for cute!
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Cos if so, think of it this way: be thankful that they actually diagnosed it. When I was in my sophomore year of college, I was sleeping sixteen hours a day and was diagnosed with "in a nasty bout of bipolar depression" (it runs in the family and I'd had it a bit in high school) and they increased my take of mood stabilizers by a lot. Do you know what happens if you take mood stabilizers you don't actually need? You get nauseous as shit and stoned out of your mind.
Junior year I had a sinus infection; they gave me a mono test in addition to prescribing me regular sinus-y antibiotics. The test results came back later as "You don't have mono now, but you had it a year ago; the antibodies are still in your system." Thanks, U.S. Heath Care System Which Is Totally The Bestest In The World!
Anyway, I'm sorry if that sounded super whiny and self-pitying! But anyway, I think I had Epstein-Barr for a while, and it sucked like eighty million kinds of hardcore, and you should definitely take care of yourself and get better. There is nothing weak about getting sick once in a while! It is human. Humans are not actually Intelligently Designed, no matter what some ignorant people who know nothing about human biology say. We are Stupidly Fucking Designed, and so we get sick a lot.
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