Melancholy

[cupcake_goth]

An anonymous question landed in my Tumblr inbox the other day:

Hi auntie! *slides a tray of gingerbats over* I’ve been reading your website since I was a babybat (over a decade now, oh how time flies!) and I’ve noticed you’ve been steadily updating less. 

I greatly value your insight and advice, as do many other goths. I hope you’re not done with your charm school, you make the world a better place by running it.

It was a very sweet question. But I have already been dealing with an upswing of melancholy over the fact that I haven't posted anything to the GCS site for years, and this ... didn't help. Which I'm sure wasn't the questioner's intention! 

What kicked all of this off was a post I made on FB about the the new Crimson Peak collection from La Femme en Noir. An acquaintance suggested I contact them to see if they'd send me items to review; I replied that there was no point, as I'm not a recognized "influencer" in the subculture. I don't put myself out there as a reviewer on Instagram, I refuse to be on Tik-Tok, and I just don't have the energy. And then I spent the rest of the day mourning my internet presence, ability to write, and health of years past. 

I want to write more Gothic Charm School posts, I really do. I even have ideas for a few. But I don't know when I'll have the time or energy, and it all makes me sad.