I honestly have no idea how to respond to this

[cupcake_goth]

 An anonymous question in my Tumblr inbox:

"heyyyy can i ask you a rude question? okay, here it is. can i tag your selfies as 'gmilf' or 'hot people'? i know most people don't feel comfortable with others potentially sexualising them when they're just trying to exist, but you're really hot so idk. whatever is most comfortable for you though is most important. i am so sorry for the weird question but i have been following you for a bit now and i have always been curious lol"

 I ... what? WHAT? Okay, good that they asked, and I guess I can use the idea that random strangers find me hot to help shout down the Body Image Demons, but ... what? I honestly have no idea how to respond to this, if I even want to respond. Again, good that they asked, I guess?

Comments

[anagramofbrat]

I need a *politely shocked giggle* emote.

I think I would have been okay with just leaving it at "hot people" but I think "gmilf" pushes it into "you made it weird" territory.

[sistawendy]

I think "gmilf" pushes it into "you made it weird" territory.

Seconded. Thinking it is one thing. Putting it on the internet for all to see is quite another.

[m_cobweb]

Mmm...yeah. Right there with you both.

[kore]

GMILF??

[full_metal_ox]

If you’re requesting a definition rather than expressing incredulity, it’s (phrased in acknowledgement that our hostess also runs an etiquette blog) “Grandma I’d Like To (Fool Around With.)”

[staxxy]

I suspect the gm of gmilf - godmother or gothmother.

You've always been hot. You've always had people who think you are hot. You always will. You are pretty, curvy, smart, and kind. And people flock to you like moths to sparklers, and they always will. And you really do know that, deep down somewhere. This is why you interact with your fans with a layer of distance, and always have. Take this in stride, own it, and let it go because there will always be horny pervs fetishizing others.

Is it weird to consider? yup. Its hella weird to have it brought up at all, and to have to have any thoughts about it at all. Don't dwell on it, especially as it sounds like this particular perv is super respectful and focused on making sure you feel safe. It's like going dancing at the wet spot - lots of people finding you sexy when you aren't there for that at all.

[noxcat]

I do like the GOTHmother interpretation of gm. I suspect she'd earned her goth card back when I was just discovering the music. (I"M only a few years younger, chronologically. )

(side note - love the xray!)

[staxxy]

(it's my Red Right Hand XD)

[noxcat]

heh. Love that song. :)

[inferiorwit]

this strikes me as one of those "if you have to ask, the answer is probably no" situations

[danabren]

Sounds like the kink was satisfied with the asking.

Don't respond. You don't want to know if you've been tagged by them AT ALL, yanno?

[tiggymalvern]

You have a tumblr? I thought I found and followed all my DW people who were there years ago when I first joined. Is it under the same name?

You always look fantastic. You put so much time and effort into everything you wear and every part of your look, you certainly deserve to :-)

[cupcake_goth]

https://gothiccharmschool.tumblr.com/

[tiggymalvern]

Got it :-)

[phoenixfire12]

If you do not feel comfortable with this, then yiu could say "Thank you, but the idea behind this whole conversation is making me feel a little uncomfortable. Please don't share or tag any of my photos. I understand your reasons and I thank you for asking (most people don't), but I'd prefer you don't. Thank you for your kind email." Or something to that effect.

[silverusagi]

I also have no idea how to respond to that. I would just not respond honestly.

It seems to be related to the semi-puritanical internet culture of recent years. Truly, I have seen takes that having sexual thoughts/fantasies about someone is problematic and you need to ask their permission first (while being totally oblivious as to how bringing up said sexual thoughts to the object of said thoughts is just making it weird and semi-harassment).