Another thing

[cupcake_goth]

 Some context: The neighbors on one side of us are elderly retired Hell's Angels. This means they are mostly deaf, and communicate by shouting. (Very nice and friendly people, so much shouting.) You can hear their TV from the street. The husband has a hot rod truck that has to be started every day (for some mechanical reason I don't quite understand), so there is a daily time of exhaust fumes and VERY LOUD rumbling.

Sadly, the wife passed away a few weeks ago after a long illness. 

The way the husband is coping with his grief is some sort of mechanical project that involves angle grinding metal. Angle grinding metal at ALL HOURS. The Madwoman in the Attic says that she hears him doing this at 6am, and I've heard (and seen the sparks from it) at midnight.

I support people dealing with grief in whatever way works for them. There is no wrong way. But I will say that angle grinding at all hours is one of the weirder ones I've heard of.

Comments

[dark_phoenix54]

People do indeed express grief in strange ways. But it would not be horrible to let him know that you are being kept awake at night. He may be unaware of how loud he is, and this may sound strange but he may not be thinking about the time at all. Take him over some baked goods, and maybe have a gentle talk with him. Most grieving people aren't thinking about the outside world at all and (usually) appreciate a message from said outside world.

[danabren]

Seconded. He probably can't sleep, either.

[sistawendy]

I wonder what'll happen when he finishes his project.

(I take it they're not the neighbors with the Pride flag.)

[cupcake_goth]

The neighbors with the pride flag are the other neighbors, and are the genially tipsy G-D king emperor gardners.

[sara]

Oh bless I can totally sympathize with that.

[gatheringrivers]

No idea whether it's relevant, but when my great-grandfather on my mother's side passed, it quickly became evident that my great-grandmother had some level of dementia. She was up baking at all hours, and kept calling people at 3am to come over and visit.

A 24 hour clock, with a reminder of "most people are sleeping between x and y, and $project is really really noisy and tends to keep people up" might help? I know such a thing wasn't easily available when my great-gran was alive.

[staxxy]

that kind of sorrow is mind bogglingly rough.

But I am on the same page about taking over tasty baked treats and maybe proffering your condolences (again, if you have already done so), and gently remind/tell him that those types of projects are loud enough that the sound carries down the street to his neighbors beds at that hour. Perhaps by asking what it is that makes that loud grinding noise at 2am every night?