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- I've had some level of migraine/muscle tension/sinus pressure headache for over two weeks now. I had a lot of things I was going to get done, and barely accomplished any of them.
- Which means that in addition to being in pain, the Brain Raccoons have been frolicking around, singing their smash hit "You're not going to succeed at any of the plans you have, give up now". (The Brain Raccoons have terrible squeaky harmonies and are frequently off-key, but they're good at catchy terrible songs.)
- Because of this, I'm dolefully looking at my resume and Linkdin, wondering if I should polish them and start looking for a job back in the poisonous industry I fled. I keep telling myself that maybe a part-time job wouldn't be bad, I could still get the GCS media empire/Patreon going if I pushed myself.
- But hey, I haven't managed to get that going in the not-quite-a-year since I got out of the tech industry, so I'm totally fooling myself, I should sing along with the Brain Raccoons song.
- Mom's birthday is tomorrow.
- The Stroppy One is down for a variety of reasons.
- My sleep is being wonky. I've had multiple nights where I'm not falling asleep until close to 5am. But I'm in too much pain or brain fog to accomplish anything during the time I'm awake.
- I missed my big brother's birthday party due to migraine.
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1. You are loved.
2. You have a vast group of talented, intelligent, and gifted friends who can't wait to help you out with your media empire.
3. You are already a success, it isn't as though you are building this from scratch. You have a popular brand already, and anything you do adds value to it.
4. Bad health inspires bad thoughts. Believe me. I am right there with you.
5. Raccoons lie.
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Migraines that last more than 24 hours really DO mess with everything including sleeping, eating, self care, getting tasks done in the normal amount of time, the amount of effort required to accomplish any task with a migraine is 2 to 4 times the amount required without one AND will take that same modifier to time, emotional reactions are magnified, and all of your self-identified (see also: things you think are but nobody else does, and are quite probably just the funhouse mirror in your brain) faults and flaws seem infinitely worse.
So yeah... cut yourself a LOT of slack!! Focus on the self-care needed to calm this migraine. Do not let anxiety run away with you and make your migraine worse. Do those things that you know are calming and soothing and will lower your blood pressure.
Full strength you can level mountains without fuss so it does not matter if no strength you can't do The Things! because they will get done easily and quickly when you are back to full strength.
I mentioned this in my own DW, but *everyone* I know who migraines has had one for either the entire last 2 weeks or pretty at least one most days. At least locally. Which makes me think it may be something in the air, literally, or constant barometric pressure changes, or even temperature fluctuations. Everyone with chronic pain issues are laid up as well. You are not alone in your suffering.. But most importantly: YOU DID NOT CHOOSE TO HAVE A MIGRAINE, OR DO ANYTHING THAT CAUSED IT. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT THAT YOU HAVE THE MIGRAINE OR THAT IT IS IMPEDING YOUR ABILITY TO FUNCTION. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON, IRRESPONSIBLE, OR A SLACKER FOR MISSING THINGS OR NOT BEING ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THINGS.
January has been extra rough this year for a variety of reasons, even excluding the shitshow that is the president and how his shutdown has hit the entire country.
Okay, migrainer pep talk done. Now is the time I remind you AGAIN that you really *are* famous. your audience is demonstrably active and frothing and hangs on your every word AND IS WELL AND TRULY COMFORTABLY IN THE FIVE DIGIT RANGE AND IS CONTINUING TO HEAD TOWARDS THE 6 DIGIT RANGE. Even if only half of them become 1$ patrons you will be netting more income than you did in tech, and you know damn well that there will be a healthy portion of those who go for higher amounts of patronage. So the Patreon will be fine. You could start it now with 0 content and have a flurry of subscribers who want to be there from ground level and watch it build. Stop stressing yourself out about it not happening BECAUSE IT HAS ACTUALLY BEEN HAPPENING FOR 20 FUCKING YEARS. YOU ARE A GODDAMNED ICON WOMAN! OWN IT!! YOU ARE THE GO-TO GIRL FOR CONSULTING ON GOTH BEING USED BY NON-GOTH PEOPLE, PEOPLE YOU DO NOT ALREADY KNOW!!! YOU ARE NOT JUST LOVED YOU ARE ACTUALLY IN THE CATEGORY OF 'BELOVED' BY LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!! THOUSANDS</>
and yes the yelling is loud, but it isnt hyperbolic and there is a part of your non-raccoon-infested brain that knows these things are actually TRUE even as the raccoons are trying to tell you that they aren't, or not to get a swelled head, or not to get ahead of yourself. You are BEHIND yourself because you are sitting in your own way so the raccoons can tell you it can't be done. That's a load of crap. It's already being done. All the time. By you just being you and sharing it with the world.
TL;DR - brain raccoons lie, migraines suck on every front, focus on killing the migraine and everything will be infinitely easier to accomplish after.
see also: I love you. read your arms and meditate on those messages. The migraine is trying to subdue you and it is time to remember you can feast upon brain raccoons too.
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Mental note: do not bug the Vampire Witch Queen for anything until she's feeling better.