Of Dealing With Bullies.

This was a really, really hard one to write. Gothic Charm School sees a lot of letters from kids being bullied, and it breaks my heart AND makes me furious.

[livejournal.com profile] staxxy, [livejournal.com profile] maiaarts, and the Finishing School of Flail went above and beyond this time for beta reading and hand holding. Thank you, ladies!

Now, if you folks could help spread the word about the new post, that would be great. Thank you!

EDITED TO ADD: Comments on the Gothic Charm School post are now enabled! Thank you, [livejournal.com profile] leenerella!

From: [identity profile] purple-mark.livejournal.com

Bullies


Great post, Jillian! Thanks for addressing this issue!

From: [identity profile] plymouth.livejournal.com


Excellent post! But it says comments are open and I can't figure out how to comment? Am I missing something really obvious here? (Probably I am). I just wanted to relate some of my ancient high school experiences from before I was officially a goth but was still kinda freaky :)

From: [identity profile] plymouth.livejournal.com


Oh, hah, I just saw your update! I feel better about not being missing something then :)

From: [identity profile] cupcake-goth.livejournal.com


I told the dratted thing to allow comments, but no comment-posting thing is showing up. So it's not just you. :) I'm working on it.

From: [identity profile] mimi-monsterr.livejournal.com


that was a great post, thankyou for addressing this :)

From: [identity profile] stephl.livejournal.com


You are made of awesome, my friend.

Now, if you folks could help spread the word about the new post, that would be great.

Done.

From: [identity profile] chaoskitten-df.livejournal.com


Excellent post!

One point I'd like to make is for the girl who was pushed down the stairs, is there any security cameras in the area of the incident? If there were, she'd have physical evidence she could use to help prove her case. :)

(I just thought I'd say that here since the commenting on the post itself isn't working yet)

From: [identity profile] spotzle.livejournal.com


This was my thought as well. A lot of schools have cameras now, it's worth it to check.

From: [identity profile] chaoskitten-df.livejournal.com


Certainly. My own school has a lot of cameras (not because it's dangerous haha :) ).
I'm lucky that even though I'm the only goth out of 800 students, it has never been a problem for me. (Although I was bullied growing up, it was before the goth subculture came along for me)

From: [identity profile] tinkerbell86ca.livejournal.com


YES! I was occationally bullied at school (elementry, high school, and college) and I know what those poor snarklings are going through to some extent.

And still to this day I get called my ever so stupid high school nickname by some people . . . I mean really? (yes, I tell them to please do stop as it makes them look stupid and annoys me)

From: [identity profile] sethrak.livejournal.com


I am very mildly comforted that none of the quoted letters contain references to being told "Your purported bully just liiiiikes you, and doesn't know how to handle their feelings, so it's no big deal!"

Doesn't mean thoughtless adults aren't still peddling that nonsense to beleagured students, but still makes me very very faintly better at the possibility it's being peddled less often, at least.

From: [identity profile] mittensmorgul.livejournal.com


Thank you so much for posting this. I am going to share it with my daughter, who is 10. I am known as the "Goth Mom" at her school, and most of the kids think I am interesting at the least. But the spinoff is starting to express her own gothiness, and I worry sometimes that when she goes to middle school that children she hasn't grown up with won't know how to react to such a difference in appearance. Even her girl scout troop thinks she is unique and wonderful (Girl Scouts are a terribly accepting group as a whole), and having a group of friends tell you that WHO YOU ARE IS WORTHWHILE can really help.

My advice, when the comments come up, will be to find a group of people (including adults and kids) who understand. Even if they are not present to defend you during these assaults, they become a rock for you to find comfort in, to help you put it in perspective; to remind you that you are not unloved or unlovable. Sometimes just remembering that will help you look at a bully with a colder eye, and give you the resolve to walk away, maintain composure, and ignore the taunts.

It does get better, easier, and eventually those bullies will grow up enough to behave like civilized people, if not enlightened beings. Thank you for this lecture!

From: [identity profile] aisb23.livejournal.com


One of your best GCS posts ever. I will be spreading it about my necks of the blogosphere.

From: [identity profile] drkvampirelupin.livejournal.com


Kids at my school stopped bullying me the minute I lied and told them I was a satanist and if they don't fuck off I'd perform satanic magic against them.

From: [identity profile] megumi-selwyn.livejournal.com


This is such a wonderful, totally necessary post. I don't think kids understand that this sort of thing is completely unacceptable, and completely stoppable.

From what I hear, I wasn't the only one to deal with school administrators who did absolutely nothing, no matter how much I reported assault or bullying. Kids need to understand that if your school won't help you, you have to go above them. Call the police. All of my bullying problems stopped when I sent the cops after one boy who took it too far.
mb2u: (Default)

From: [personal profile] mb2u


A great article, that should never have had a reason to have been written.

From: [identity profile] misskittyt.livejournal.com


OMG Thank you for writing this. I wish I could have read it when I was a teenager. This article even reaches out to us in our early mid 20s. Some adults also need to grow up. I just hope those baby bats stay strong and keep on. It's hard...they gotta hang in there.

From: [identity profile] scarysammiekae.livejournal.com


Same here, I dealt with so many bullies growing up. My parents made sure I was safe, but even still it gets under your skin. I even have flash backs now and then when my littles tell me they are being bullied and the anger that goes along with them is hard to put away.

From: [identity profile] marc17.livejournal.com


Lovely post. The only thing I think that I'd add is not only is bullying not an accurate reflection of your worth, but it is not an accurate reflection of what other people are like. Bullying can make you feel alone in the world, but the bullies are the aberration. As the current program says, "It gets better". Once out of school, bullies will probably never be encountered twice. Colleges have even less tolerance for bullies than high school. Even if it takes moving away to another location, sometimes, that is what it takes to "find your people" so to speak. Moving from BFE to the real world can allow people to get over past events and thrive.
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