Vampires novels as brain candy

[cupcake_goth]

So, the Twilight series.

Do I think they're well-written? Oh gracious, no.

Do I think they have some many annoying and kinda skeezy issues? Oh gracious, yes. (Bella! Grow a damn spine! Someone stalking you and watching you sleep is NOT OKAY even if they're a cute boy! No, really.)

Did the whole spaaaaarkly vampire! thing make me crack up laughing? Oh yes. (It's true! Vampires avoid the sun because they sparkle!)

Did I enjoy the books in the same way I enjoy occasionally eating junk food? Oh hell yes.

Here, go read Cleolinda's take on the Twilight series (clicky link), because we apparently have matching opinions about them, and I don't have the time right now to write up a long and coherent post.

Comments

[morthael.livejournal.com]

Lisa told me about the horror of this series. Sparkly.Vampires. Holy hell.

On a related note, I found the one person who reads Kim Harrison: a 18 year old rebellious girl in my Intro to Fiction class. She's a great study in the alternative youth today.

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

A sparkly vampire who WUVS HER! So much that he watches her sleep! Before they started being involved!

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

I have not read these and probably never will (I am just too old and cranky now to put up with bad writing, even for fun), but from what I've heard, I gotta go with whoever said "Buffy much?" Except for the sparkly bit. (Angel would have been so much more fun if he'd sparkled.)

Except for the sparkly bit. (Angel would have been so much more fun if he'd sparkled.

[theda.livejournal.com]

Angel: I'm moody, deep and moody, deep moody and hunky, oh and I sparkle..

*ow my brain*

Re: Except for the sparkly bit. (Angel would have been so much more fun if he'd sparkled.

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

I have just choked on my Diet Coke. And will forever more have this vision of Sparkly! Angel!

[bittergourd.livejournal.com]

And you know there's a movie version coming out, right?

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, I do. I will probably wait for it to hit the second-run theatres, and then go see it.

[morthael.livejournal.com]

It'll last past a week?

[angldst.livejournal.com]

I've read the ones that are out thus far. Guilty as charged. Yes, brain candy. silly, silly brain candy. (confession time) I actually do head into the YA section of the library when I need fluff for downtime when I'm in deadline or heavy production mode, like, um, now.

-d, sewing a shedload of stuff this summer, yet not going to convergence. :(

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

I read a *lot* of YA vampire books. They're all sorts of fun, and apparently my inner teenager isn't very inner at all.

(I'm not going to Convergence either.)

[keridwen.livejournal.com]

My response to them went something like this:

Vampires! In *Forks*!

<rotflmao>

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Forks is a hotbed of vampire activity, who knew?

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

*coughcoughcoughCamarillacoughcoughcough*

[keridwen.livejournal.com]

Apparently, there are now "Twilight Tours" available in Forks. They take people (usually teenage girls and their mothers) around to all of the real places that are mentioned in the book.

It's been quite a little tourist boom.

[twilight2000.livejournal.com]

Cedric Diggory? Oh dear -- Edward will apparently also be British. In Forks. How... interesting...

hmmmmm

[amaliedageek.livejournal.com]

the_red_shoes has been sporking the book for a week or two, now:

OKAY, SO, YEAH IN FANFIC REDHEADS SMELL/TASTE LIKE STRAWBERRIES, BLONDES ARE VANILLA, AND US BRUNETTES ARE, I DUNNO, USUALLY MUSKY OR SOMETHING BECAUSE WE ARE BAD GIRLS (TM). AND SPIKE SMELLS OF CIGARETTES AND LEATHER AND WHISKEY. ANY HOO. SO YOU KNOW HOW REALLY TERRIBLE AUTHORS HAVE LIKE SIGNATURE SCENTS FOR ALL THEIR FEMALE (NEVER MALE) CHARACTERS? LIKE, ONE GIRL SMELLS OF LAVENDER, AND ANOTHER GIRL SMELLS OF, I DO NOT EVEN FUCKING KNOW, CINNAMON, AND ANOTHER LIKE A BANK OF CRUSHED MINT ON A MISTY IRISH MORNING OR SOME GODDAMNED THING? YEAH. THAT. YOU KNOW, THE HERBAL ESSENCES CATALOGUE STYLE OF CHARACTERIZATION.

AND THAT IS NOT THE SAME AS MATCHING UP CHARACTERS WITH BPAL SCENTS BECAUSE THAT IS COOL AND I LOVE BPAL AND I DO THAT CONSTANTLY. SO. CLEARLY NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL.

SO IF YOU WERE WONDERING. FREESIA.

Just hit "twilight_spork" in her tags.

You're welcome. :-)

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Ha! Okay, this is where I finally remember to add the_red_shoes to my LJ f-list. I love everything I read from her.

"WHAT ABOUT PROM, EDWARD? WHAT ABOUT PROM?!"

[amaliedageek.livejournal.com]

OH, SO, AND THIS IS A COP'S DAUGHTER
DOES SHE TELL HER COP DAD THAT HER UNDEAD SPARKLY BARELY SELF-CONTROLLED NONBOYFRIEND HAS BEEN STALKING HER?
WHY, NO
BECAUSE SHE DOES NOT HAVE THE BRAINS GOD GAVE A BOWL OF PUREED CARROTS

I have been reading bits of this to K. and E., both of whom read Twilight under duress; it's fun to watch your son and his girlfriend having hysterics on the sofa.

And I need to add her, too!

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

I can't stand 'em. Aside from the writing, there are some storytelling issues (beyond the sparkly vampires *rolling eyes*) that make me batshit insane.

But I can't complain much, as a YA writer, because if I do, it makes me out as being bitter and jealous because I didn't come up with the concept of sparkly vampires. *rolling eyes some more*

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Oh, there are whole HERDS of storytelling issues in the series. Stampeding herds of them, all smelling gently of freesia.

[weaselmom.livejournal.com]

You just made me drop chewed banana onto my sweater. I hope you are satisfied.

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

Sparkly! Angel! Smelling of gently of freesia! Which is really, so very wrong.

[smu.livejournal.com]

I'll admit it... I'm a book snob and I fucking LOVED the HELL out of those books. There are so many issues with them, they're so corny and hokey, but they're like junk food. SO good. The 4th book comes out in August and you can bet your bustle I'm gonna be first in line to get my copy.

I have no idea why I like these books. I'm especially snobby about vampire novels and yet... I love these. Guilty as charged.

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

They are particularly delicious junk food. I just get a little worried by the swarms and swarms of girls out there who DON'T realize the junk food aspect of them. It makes me want to go force them to read Sunshine by Robin McKinley.

[ex-fashioni.livejournal.com]

It's not just the girls, though, Jilli-- their mothers are equally sucked in. They rented the Armory in Miami when Meyer was there for her signing last September and THREE THOUSAND people showed up. About a 50/50 split between mothers and daughters. And wearing t-shirts proclaiming "Mrs. Edward Cullen" or "I HEART Jacob!"

It creeps me out monumentally.

[cupcake-goth.livejournal.com]

Okay, that is amazingly messed up, and I say this as someone who is out of the coffin about her fondness for vampire fiction.

When I was still lurking around the MCRmy forum (it was the easiest way to get news about tour dates), there was a huge thread that started because one girl posted about how she had just finished Twilight, and OMG, the character of Edward reminded her SO MUCH of Gerard!!!1!1! The thread was everyone agreeing with her, and OMG, Gerard should totes play Edward in the movie.

That was when I stopped lurking around that forum. It made my head hurt too much.

[smu.livejournal.com]

I work in a bookstore, so I see legions of teen girls walk in and profess how much they love the novels and how it's like modern Romeo and "that one chick he dated". Sigh.

I admit though, I have never read Sunshine...

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

Oh good lord.

I am so glad stuff like this wasn't around when I was a teenager. I'd have made an even bigger fool of myself than I managed to.

[seanb.livejournal.com]

Complete and total crap. So many issues. So much worth mocking...
...and I'm fighting the urge to pick up the next book.

[torreybird.livejournal.com]

All I had to say, in front of a particular teenager I teach, was "well, doesn't that just unexpectedly sparkle in the sunshine?"

She started seething immediately, and said through clenched teeth: "Vampires. Don't. Sparkle."

hee hee! Thanks for telling me about these silly books.

[kajafoglio.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. I've never heard of these. And a movie? Wahahahaha!

[fiorituranotte.livejournal.com]

You're going to make me read those books.

[mrs-batman.livejournal.com]

I've always been intrigued by the series. I shall have to pick one up and try it out!