Unbelievable, I know. But yes, I've posted another column at Gothic Charm School:

Of Differences of Opinion. And IKEA.

Huge thanks go to [livejournal.com profile] staxxy and [livejournal.com profile] fashionista_35 for being beta readers!

As always, if you could go forth and promote the latest column, that would be wonderful.

From: [identity profile] vorona.livejournal.com


If I were to promote this topic, some of our delightful mutual friends would attack me with personal insults for "being a snowflake." I don't get to say the same things you brought up, or even mention such topics, because people go for the jugular whenever I do. Funny, that. Good column, though.

From: [identity profile] krypt-kitten.livejournal.com


I don't think it's limited to just you as I can think of a number of people that would be victimized the same way as you would be by speaking up. Frankly I am getting sick to death of that kind of behavior. People wonder why we aren't out all that much anymore that's pretty much why. I am really over the petty behavior. I don't want to surround myself with that anymore. Seems like people just can't seem to respect each other, their differences or their differences of opinion. Think I'll chose to hang around those I respect and that respect me too. I think it's pretty shitty that you can't speak your mind without people feeling that's an open invitation to attack. How childish!

From: [identity profile] seven-veils.livejournal.com


We share many of the same sentiments. My drama intolerant system has been a bit taxed lately. Those people's presence in my life is short lived if the drama mongering behavior appears to be a regular pattern.

I have to say that, I know I for one miss seeing you and D out. I totally respect why you're not, but I still wish it were different. I love seeing you guys.

From: [identity profile] skepticle.livejournal.com


"You see, what the Lady of the Manners is trying to figure out is why Those Sorts don’t understand that indulging in that sort of behavior is rude. Mocking people who disagree with you doesn’t make you look clever, and it certainly doesn’t sway people to agree with you."

I think you know why people do such things. They are bullies and using a blunt object to force compliance works for them. I too, find myself staying silent due to bullies... But not often ;)

I would also add that those I have met consider themselves an expert on opinions, politics, grammar or some other area (hey maybe they read a book once or took a class, that usually seems to be their claim to High Expertiese) and so think all people should always agree with them on This Important Subject.

Thank you for dealing with the bullies. And although I don't agree with you regarding the Ikea issue, it is a tribute to your character that you can still maintain grace under fire.

From: [identity profile] vorona.livejournal.com


Bullying is at the heart of this issue. And it bothers me not because I'm going to crumple into bits (well, I may, who knows) if someone responds to my concern by calling me "an ugly 40-something" or wishing me dead, although, yes, such things can have a cumulative effect on a person's health. It bothers me because it's so lumpen, and dreary, and... wow, we can do better than this. I expect us to be, as a subculture, a lot more fascinating than the old piling-on routine.

The "experts" problem you brought up makes me think. I can be a little annoying myself on the topic of proper English (and sometimes proper French!) and even though I think I barely bring it up at all, I'm probably on a lot of people's hate lists because I'm so fussy about language.

On the other hand, I'm finding "snippy geeks" less and less tolerable in my own online interactions. I'm on the verge of posting something spelling it out - the reason nerds/geeks are unpopular is not that they're SMART. It's that their lousy social skills make people feel bad. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of blunt, unpleasant nattering about miniscule points, all pointing to how wrong, wrong, wrong the non-geek is, and how right, right, right the snippy, bitter geek is. I'm getting snippy and bitter about it, myself. Heh.
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