Ridiculous fashion cravings, part something something

Mermaid skirts. Morticia Addams -type skirts. Skirt that I would wear ::GASP:: without petticoats. (But with jackets and overdresses that covered my bum, because let's face it, there are certain refrains from the Body Image Monsters that I am never, ever going to be able to ignore.)

Long, narrow through the hips and thighs (eeep!), flaring out to fullness (preferably with ruffles) from the knees down. WHICH ONE OF YOU IS USING THE MIND CONTROL RAYS ON ME?