Throw the matches down into the glitter

[cupcake_goth]

(I thought about using a different Fall Out Boy lyric: "my childhood spat back up the monster I've become" (also known as the lyric I've been thinking about getting as a tattoo since that damn album came out), but it felt a little on the nose, I dunno.)

ANYhoodle, I checked in with Dad to see how he's doing.

Sluggish and slow, but still moving. We went to [stepsister's] for lunch yesterday and to the store today to get my new drug (Jardiance, my co-pay $135). But I'm worn out from the effort.

When I asked if his specialist had gotten back to him yet:

The cardiologist will see me in September unless needed. The colon-rectal surgeon decided that the hemorrhoids were disappearing because of his injections, my continued use of Metamucil, and better eating habits. He doesn't want to see me until the end of September also.

Am I happy about any of this? No, especially with how easily worn out Dad gets. But there's nothing I can do to force the issue. I'm going to wait on getting a laundry service for him until after the appointment with the home services people.

Hi, my baseline level of anxiety is kinda high, and I should probably call my psych about either increasing my supply of Xanax, or finding a daily med for it. ahahahahaha.

EDITED TO ADD: Today's tarot card? The 10 of Imps, which are Wands. "Symbolizes overwhelming burdens, responsibilities, and stress". THANKS, UNIVERSE, I GET IT.

Comments

[staxxy]

my concern is that dad is downplaying how he is feeling. :/

[cupcake_goth]

Oh, you and me both. I'm almost certain he is.

[garpu]

Yeah, my tarot readings for myself tend to be of the "no shit, Sherlock" variety, too. Like after the 2016 election, I kept getting the Tower. Tell me something I don't already know...

[danabren]

He's cogent, and discussing topics that are easily verified if you are listed as a contact on his HIPAA paperwork, so that is a positive.