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I won't lie, my mental/emotional health has been pretty crap lately*. I'm sure it's mostly due to being sick for almost a month; I've felt completely useless, which is never great for my brain. Random free-floating depression, whee. But I've also been dealing with a HUGE upswing of the Body Image Demons, to the point where I saw myself in the mirror and thought, "Well at least I have a pretty face?", which is something that I haven't thought about myself since my 20s when I was flirting with an eating disorder.
To help shout down the Body Image Demons, I asked folks for suggestions of plus size goths, preferably GenX, to follow on IG. In addition to a great list of folks, someone mentioned the Inclusive Plus Size Goths group on FB, so I ran to join. I figure if I see images of other plus size goths and marvel at their fabulousness, maybe my brain will eventually apply that filter to myself.
*How crap? I had a moment today of "I haven't been making any effort with makeup, my wardrobe, or anything gothy, including writing anything at all, and am I even relevant anymore? Can I even consider myself an active goth?" Which whoooooo-boy, I know is the Brain Raccoons lying to me, noisy little shitheads that they are, but DAMN. That's a new form of self-doubt for me, and I really really don't like it.
To help shout down the Body Image Demons, I asked folks for suggestions of plus size goths, preferably GenX, to follow on IG. In addition to a great list of folks, someone mentioned the Inclusive Plus Size Goths group on FB, so I ran to join. I figure if I see images of other plus size goths and marvel at their fabulousness, maybe my brain will eventually apply that filter to myself.
*How crap? I had a moment today of "I haven't been making any effort with makeup, my wardrobe, or anything gothy, including writing anything at all, and am I even relevant anymore? Can I even consider myself an active goth?" Which whoooooo-boy, I know is the Brain Raccoons lying to me, noisy little shitheads that they are, but DAMN. That's a new form of self-doubt for me, and I really really don't like it.
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Might go join Plus Size Goths, I have similar brain pigeons. Hope you feel better soon.
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Let us know when you are up for guests so I can bring you presents.
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Stupid raccoons. Put the lid tightly on the trash bin so they fuck off.
I look at myself naked in the mirror and see my grandmother who had three children for her body while I am just a lump on the sofa. You are very much not alone.
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You will never EVER be irrelevant in anything of a gothy nature or persuasion at all. ever. Like seriously impossible. You are a goth ICON. You are faaaaaaaammmmousssssssss. It doesn't matter if you haven't worn makeup for a month (which I don't think your conference thingy was a month ago and you wore not just makeup but throwback oldschool gothy looks at).
Just sayin'