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On Sunday the alarm went off at ohg-d 7:15am, because we needed to be at Woodland Park Zoo at 8:50am. BECAUSE IT WAS RED PANDA DAY!
For my 50th birthday, a bunch of lovely people got together and gave me a zoo encounter package wherein I'd get to INTO the red panda enclosure, eeee! The pre-COVID version was going to be better, in that I would be in the same room as a red panda. But, my turn came up after the pandemic, so this version was "go into the enclosure, put out food, stand in a certain spot armed with apples and grapes (red panda crack), and hopefully be able to entice the red pandas to me". Unfortunately, Zan and Tian were uninterested in apples and grapes that morning and stayed in their trees. No close red pandas for me. :( (We knew that was a possibility, but still sad.)
However the red panda keeper took us around back to the off-exhibit enclosure where my beloved Carson is hanging out, and while I didn't get to go in, I did get to be within 3 feet of him.
The guide who was with us was armed with my camera and took lots of photos. I now know I hate every full-length photo of me that's taken from the side. HATE. I'm already making changes to my eating and easing into exercise (even tho' exercise 1) makes my pain and fatigue spike and 2) actually gives me a jolt of horrible depression - no endorphin rush for me), and I know those things will have a knock-on effect for my shape. But good fucking G-D, that was an unexpected summoning of the Body Image Demons.
THIS weekend I need to fight past the fatigue and brain fog I've been dealing with and actually write a Gothic Charm School post for this month. Wish me luck.
For my 50th birthday, a bunch of lovely people got together and gave me a zoo encounter package wherein I'd get to INTO the red panda enclosure, eeee! The pre-COVID version was going to be better, in that I would be in the same room as a red panda. But, my turn came up after the pandemic, so this version was "go into the enclosure, put out food, stand in a certain spot armed with apples and grapes (red panda crack), and hopefully be able to entice the red pandas to me". Unfortunately, Zan and Tian were uninterested in apples and grapes that morning and stayed in their trees. No close red pandas for me. :( (We knew that was a possibility, but still sad.)
However the red panda keeper took us around back to the off-exhibit enclosure where my beloved Carson is hanging out, and while I didn't get to go in, I did get to be within 3 feet of him.
The guide who was with us was armed with my camera and took lots of photos. I now know I hate every full-length photo of me that's taken from the side. HATE. I'm already making changes to my eating and easing into exercise (even tho' exercise 1) makes my pain and fatigue spike and 2) actually gives me a jolt of horrible depression - no endorphin rush for me), and I know those things will have a knock-on effect for my shape. But good fucking G-D, that was an unexpected summoning of the Body Image Demons.
THIS weekend I need to fight past the fatigue and brain fog I've been dealing with and actually write a Gothic Charm School post for this month. Wish me luck.
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yeah, I feel you on the photos. Dor's old apartment had a mirrored WALL next to the elevator and dressed for getting shit done in SERIOUS ACTION clothes *really* highlighted exactly how much weight I have gained and WHERE. Ugh. Everything is terrible there.
I will be watching for that. :) YOU CAN DO IT!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
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On the unsolicited exercise advice front: if it doesn't trip any sensory issues for you, I really love deep water exercise. It's not hot, it's not bright, and there's no weight on the joints. I am getting very cranky waiting for my neighborhood pool to reopen.
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But I'm so sorry about the demons. I totally have similar responses to things you described.
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