![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
If you are going to bitch and whine whenever you see someone about "you keep saying we're going to do something and you never never contact me about it!", then respond to the email that someone sends you about trying to go out to dinner.
There's more to this, of course. I'm of the apparently novel opinion that social intercourse should not be the sole responsibility of one side of the group. If I haven't emailed you about doing something or even just to see how you're doing, there is always the startlingly obvious tactic of emailing me. You know, YOU initiating contact. Because more often than not, it's not that I'm intentionally ignoring your existence. It's MUCH more likely that I have turned into a hermit again due to work (the never-ending re-org my product group is going through, my scrambling attempts to get up to speed with the new things I need to do my job), my wacky desire to spend time with my husband, or that I'm doing things with friends who TAKE THE TIME TO CONTACT ME.
When I DO run into you someplace, bitching that you never hear from me when *I* never hear from you is ... well, hypocritical is a strong word, but close to what I'm thinking.
Now, the somewhat catty and snarky admission - in the case of one acquaintance, I realized that I was always the one to initiate things. And that when we did see each other, I had to put up with their "teasing" - their only way of interacting with people was to make snarky joking comments. While I enjoy snarkiness and teasing as much as the next gloomy black-clad subculture member, I do think that it shouldn't be the ONLY way one communicates with others.
So, I deliberately decided to not email them. I wanted to see if they would ever bother to contact me. And guess what? Surprise surprise, they didn't. But still twitted me about "I never see you! You didn't invite me to "x" event!" To which I would always say, "well, if you want to do something, you have my addy." Which still hasn't happened.
This long-winded ranting all boils down to this: If you want to spend time with someone, maybe you should put some effort into trying to arrange something. Otherwise, you have no right to be whiny at them about never seeing them.
There's more to this, of course. I'm of the apparently novel opinion that social intercourse should not be the sole responsibility of one side of the group. If I haven't emailed you about doing something or even just to see how you're doing, there is always the startlingly obvious tactic of emailing me. You know, YOU initiating contact. Because more often than not, it's not that I'm intentionally ignoring your existence. It's MUCH more likely that I have turned into a hermit again due to work (the never-ending re-org my product group is going through, my scrambling attempts to get up to speed with the new things I need to do my job), my wacky desire to spend time with my husband, or that I'm doing things with friends who TAKE THE TIME TO CONTACT ME.
When I DO run into you someplace, bitching that you never hear from me when *I* never hear from you is ... well, hypocritical is a strong word, but close to what I'm thinking.
Now, the somewhat catty and snarky admission - in the case of one acquaintance, I realized that I was always the one to initiate things. And that when we did see each other, I had to put up with their "teasing" - their only way of interacting with people was to make snarky joking comments. While I enjoy snarkiness and teasing as much as the next gloomy black-clad subculture member, I do think that it shouldn't be the ONLY way one communicates with others.
So, I deliberately decided to not email them. I wanted to see if they would ever bother to contact me. And guess what? Surprise surprise, they didn't. But still twitted me about "I never see you! You didn't invite me to "x" event!" To which I would always say, "well, if you want to do something, you have my addy." Which still hasn't happened.
This long-winded ranting all boils down to this: If you want to spend time with someone, maybe you should put some effort into trying to arrange something. Otherwise, you have no right to be whiny at them about never seeing them.