It's not that I’m not sleeping, because I AM; it’s just that it’s at hours completely alien to my regular body clock, so everything feels disconnected and off-kilter. While it would probably be helpful to suddenly become a morning person, doing so at the price of reality feeling kind of jello-like is not a trade-off I'm willing to make.


(Okay, I went to bed at 9:30 last night, and fell asleep sometime after 10. Like I said, I am sleeping. Just … weirdly.)

Not only have I broken up with linear time, I kinda think I want to throw all their things out on the street.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Mar. 7th, 2017 08:34 am)
Well, on the way to the office.



Monday night involved waking up in the middle of the night FOR NO REASON, and staying awake for a few hours. Linear time is dead to me. DEAD, I tell you. What has it done for me lately, anyway?

The meetings have all been good so far. Yes, even the one where we did personality/communication testing. Mind you, I had to fight the urge to put my head down on the conference table and laugh until I cried when the results showed that I have strong caretaker/nurturer tendencies, hate disappointing people, and will take on projects/work until I fall over because I hold myself to impossible standards AND am bad at setting boundaries.

(Those of you who know me well are now permitted to snicker and say "I TOLD YOU SO". Go on, you know you want to.)
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Mar. 5th, 2017 06:05 am)

This is Guffe. He was very affectionate, and kept bashing his head into my arm, my hand, my face ... anything he could, really. He had a very squeaky voice.

Panter really wanted to investigate my espresso.

There were five other kitties, but none of them would hold still long enough for pictures. One of them, a big tabby named Tiger, thought pouncing at my skirts was the BEST GAME. I spent a little over two hours at Cafe Miaow, having a leisurely lunch and snuggling kitties.


Years ago, I had stick-straight hair. As time has passed (and possibly since I've stopped using permanent dye, and only use semi-perm conditioning dyes in vivid colors), my hair has become wavy. And, apparently, enlarges in wind and drizzle:

Now if it would only become curly!
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Mar. 4th, 2017 08:03 am)
So, hi. I'm in Copenhagen for work for the next week. I have been up for 24 hours (with about 4 hours of sleep on the first leg of the trip), and whoooooo. I have no sense of linear time right now. Less than I usually do, I mean.

Here, have some pictures )

So, one of the peeps on Tumblr told me that there's a cat cafe in Copenhagen! And Google Maps says it's about 15 minutes away on foot. I may need to go there tomorrow.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Feb. 28th, 2017 09:56 am)

- The Stroppy One is home! Yaaaaay!
- This means I actually slept soundly last night!


- One night of not-uneasy sleep has made me aware of just how tired I am.

Also, I leave for the Copenhagen office on Friday, and will be gone a week. More timezone and sleep deprivation hijinks, whee?
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Feb. 22nd, 2017 10:06 pm)
Hnnnng, Black Moon Cosmetics.

That's the Cosmic Eye Dust in "Cosmos", a pink/purple/gold colorshift glitter. It has a black pigment base, so as you blend it out, you get a lovely smokey effect with a haze of glitter.

SWEET SAINTED BOWIE I LOVE THIS STUFF. I need to buy the "Moon Rocks" color (silver with black), like, yesterday.

And *that's* the Black Metal liquid-to-matte lipcolor in "Armageddon". I'm a little less enthused with that. It's a fabulous color, and it's one of the better liquid-to-matte formulas out there, but it's still kinda drying. I will probably try it with lip balm over it (I'm already wearing lip balm under it) and see if I like it better.

However, there's a blackened rose gold color in the Black Metal lipcolor line. No, I don't want it for my lips. I want it as eyeshadow and eyeliner! (The very nice folks at Black Moon Cosmetics, in answer to my email, said they hadn't officially tested it as an eye product, but that they know some makeup artists have used it as such.) It would be such a great eye makeup color for me. Admit it, it would.
Yesterday: Sleep-deprived, migraine, and staring blankly at the next deadline.

Today: Still sleep-deprived, still migraining, and really side-eyeing this deadline. But I put on makeup.

Things that are good:

- Hanging out with friends tonight.
- Possibly hanging out with friends on Thursday.
- Today's mail should deliver my super-sparkly liquid eye shadow from Black Moon Cosmetics.
- I've finally started watching AHS: Hotel, and have been entertained. Also, I want all of The Countess' hats.
Apparently the Face Off show had a Monster High episode the other night? Various people told me about this, so I went looking for photos. And then started being somewhat snobbish over on Tumblr about the fangs on Draculaura.

Because those are not good fangs! They're clunky, and too big, and look weirdly sculpted!

Okay, yes, I am inclined toward being an elitist snob about vampire fangs, because I actually KNOW someone who custom fits and sculpts fang caps. (I need to call him, actually, because I need a spare set.) But hell, the various fangs available from Scarecrow Vampires are good, and available everywhere!

... I suppose there were restrictions around the contestants using pre-made FX products. But damn. Those are not good fangs.

(In the course of my mild fang snobbery ranting, I found out that there's a very well-reviewed custom fang making shop on Etsy! It looks like they use a process similar to what my fangsmith does.)

Yes, I know this is all ridiculous. But I need things to distract myself from the ongoing dystopian nightmare, and let's face it, vampire-related nonsense is my default setting.
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Feb. 5th, 2017 05:19 pm)
Glitter! In! Eyebrows!

It's actually more sparkly IRL, but none of the photos we took really captured it.

In other glittery eye makeup news, holy Bowie, look at the Cosmic Eyedusts from Black Moon Cosmetics.
Apparently one of my automatic reactions to stress and the world turning into a dystopian YA novel is to become more elaborate and ridiculous with my look. Which means GLITTER.

So in addition to my new-found fascination with glittery, unnatural highlighter (MUFE Star Lit Liquid, and ColourPop's Monster and Over the Moon), I've been getting into filling my eyebrows in with glitter. Today I mixed aloe vera gel with some of my collection of cosmetic glitters to make gels, which will make applying sparkly eyebrows much easier.

The Stroppy One is resigned to my rekindled love affair with all things glittery, but is hoping I don't descend back into the madness of sparkly dusting powder or bath bombs.

Relatedly, Dear MCR, thank you for the song lyric that is the perfect tag for all of this. #SparkleLikeBowieInTheMorningSun
Happy Sad: Today was Mom's birthday. I miss you Mom.

Happy: Today was also the birthday gathering for my best pseudo-sibling, Jeff! With a whole bunch of people I'm very fond of, including Dad and his ladylove!

Happy Sad: This weekend is the last for the Dilettante Mocha Cafe up on Capitol Hill. Yes, there are other locations still open, but I don't know if any of them will offer the full menu that was always available at the Capitol Hill location, and none of those other locations will have the chocolate martini bar. Which, admittedly, was a relatively new-ish thing; it wasn't part of the original Dilettante, but was a delightful addition when it moved a few blocks north on Brodway.

The Capitol Hill Dilettante was open for 41 years (at two different addresses), and I'd been going there for about 32 of them. Dad first took me there when I was 9, as a special treat during our father-daughter holiday shopping trip. In the crazed heyday of being in the Camarilla (AKA my Tragic LARPing Past), we held board meetings there, making ourselves sugar-drunk and dizzy with caffeine before meeting up with the rest of the fanged masses to run around pretending we were oh-so-elegant creatures of the night. After I fled left the Cam, there were still frequent late-night visits so the Stroppy One and I could indulge in decadent cake and coffee.

Once we moved from The Hill, we didn't visit there as often, but we did go: there were occasional social gatherings there for chocolate martinis and nibbly food, or there would be something to celebrate that required something slathered in the Ephemere truffle sauce. And of course, every Easter there was the obligatory visit to get a chocolate bunny for Clovis Devilbunny.

Our plan was to go for one last visit, so I could get a chocolate martini (vodka shaken with that Ephemere sauce, with additions -- I was particularly fond of the one with orange liqueur), and a last slice of Rigo Jancsi to take home. (Signature Hungarian Classic Torte: Chocolate mousse, chocolate génoise, raspberry preserves, chocolate truffle glaze.) But everyone else also was there for one last visit, and it was a 45 minute wait for a table, with staff that were clearly scrambling to take care of things. So we got two slices of Rigo Jancsi to go, along with some brandied cherries in dark chocolate, and a bottle of bittersweet Ephemere sauce so I can make chocolate martinis at home. Or just eat the stuff by the spoonful, because I'm totally a grown-up like that.
I heard back from the doctor. My X-rays were clear, and there are no signs of pneumonia. Sooooo ... I feel like crap because ... because?

I've sent email to the doctor (because it was the front desk who called me and relayed the info), saying that I've been following her instructions for treatment since I saw her on Monday, I'm not seeing a noticeable reduction in my symptoms, and what else should I do? Should I be on a round of antibiotics, just in case?

Bleah. As Minim pointed out to me, it's entirely possible I had a strain of flu that didn't come with congestion, and I'm slooooooowly recovering from it.

Of course, it's also entirely possible that my body just was REALLY unhappy with the level of deadline stress I put it through, on top of stress from holidays and January in general.

Anyway, yay? Not pneumonia?
We watched the first two episodes of Netflix's A Series of Unfortunate Events tonight, and it is an utter delight. And, made me remember that I've never actually read the series all the way through! When I felt a little less woozy, I went and stared into the depths of one of bookcases; it turns out I have books 1 - 9. So I'm missing 10 - 13, plus The Beatrice Letters. (Interestingly, I have a copy of of Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Biography, too.) Time to check what used copies of the last 5 books are going for!

But the show! Oh, it's just note perfect. Every little visual detail is brilliant, and you can tell that NPH had a marvelous time being Count Olaf.
Come ON, doctor. Call me back and let me know what my chest X-rays showed, and tell me if I have walking pneumonia. I certainly feel like I have walking pneumonia.

I am tired of being tired. And of having sinus headaches, and of feeling like my lungs are constricted.

cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Jan. 21st, 2017 08:22 pm)
I didn't march today. I had been thinking all week about doing so, but the realization of how under the weather I am made it clear that walking around in cold air would be a really bad idea. So I read everyone else's accounts of the march, and gloried in the photos of the crowds. So many people, out supporting good, important things!

And then, because of course, someone on FB that I don't know made a clueless, troll-like "joke" on one of the march photos that I shared, then became increasingly defensive and argumentative when others pointed out the flaws in their "joke" and tried to educate them. Again, I am baffled how anyone who knows of me doesn't also know that I'm a big ol' liberal feminist.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who marched. Thank you from the depths of my heart.
cupcake_goth: (sparklefang)
( Jan. 20th, 2017 04:53 pm)
Today is pretty much all-around awful.

- The inauguration. I've been on media blackout today, for the sake of my fragile emotional state.

- Called the doctor because I've had a sinus headache for over a week, with varying levels of congestion and coughing. I have an appointment for Monday morning, because I should probably get it checked, and if I'm going to nag Dad about going to the doctor when he had an ongoing cough, I probably shouldn't be a hypocrite and not go myself, right? Right.

- One of my closest friends was laid off today after her company was sold. This is on top of a massive amount of other stress she's been dealing with, and I'm worried for and about her. (I love you, hon.)

And of course, today's date is a sad anniversary. Six years. I miss you, Mom.

You grieve. Then you continue with your life. And at times the fact of her absence will hit you like a blow to the chest, and you will weep. But this will happen less and less as time goes on. - The Sandman, Neil Gaiman
cupcake_goth: (Default)
( Jan. 16th, 2017 03:06 pm)

In case you haven't noticed, I pretty much only buy the same three lipstick colors. (Well, four, if you include the assorted black lipsticks, too.)

[personal profile] solstice_lilac, the WnW color on here is the one I was talking about in the previous post.)
3 Custom Color will match discontinued lipstick. (This is not news to me, I've known about them for years.)

Do I want to sent them the last smidge of my long-hoarded Original Formula Chanel Vamp lipstick, so I can get it duplicated?

PRO: I'd finally have more Vamp! I could stop searching!

CON: $60 for two tubes, minimum two tube order.

Even more ridiculous, I am vaguely thinking of doing this with my discontinued One True WnW lipstick. (Instead of the Vamp, not in addition to. I'm not yet willing to spend $120 + shipping on 4 tubes of lipstick.)

This is going to lead to me swatching Vamp vs the WnW color, isn't it?
cupcake_goth: (sparklefang)
( Jan. 13th, 2017 07:52 pm)
I turned off my work computer at 4:30 today!

Mind you, it was mostly because the rest of my team were offline (they're in Ottawa, so are 3 hours ahead of me), and I'd done all I could until someone sends me more feedback. Aaaaand I'm going to be working tomorrow, doing last minute documentation updates and publishing.

But still! It's almost 8pm, and I'm not still chained to the work computer!


I feel like there's other stuff I want to talk about, or that I should be talking about. But I cannot brain right now, so whatever those things might be, they're not apparent. I'm looking forward to having the brain to do writing of my own again. I've given myself a deadline of end of next week to look at things for a Gothic Charm School post, and the start of February for getting back to work on fiction.
cupcake_goth: (Leeches)
( Jan. 9th, 2017 03:18 pm)
Hey, it's the Monday of the hell deadline week! You know what would be fun? If my body decided to have a massive flare-up of my chronic pain issues! And exhaustion! SO MUCH FUN.


And since it's Monday, the spa (my home-away-from-home) is closed, so I can't go soak for a few hours. Yes, I took a bath loaded with Epsom salts, but I have been spoiled with my spa membership, and soaking in the tub at home is nowhere near as comfortable anymore.

::sulks, takes more anti-inflammatories::


In other news, my deadline stress is manifesting in an obsessive need to search for long black or burgundy velvet coats or jackets. "Jilli, you are always searching for those things", you mutter. Well, yes, but not every day without fail. Right now? That's my main sanity break activity while I wait for content to validate and compile.

I'm also looking at slightly dangerous jewelry. I am desperately coveting this necklace from The Small Beast:

So deceptively simple! So pointy and stabby! Yeah, I'd probably accidentally injure myself with it, but goodness, I want it.


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